Today we went to Red Shirt Table for a talk by Fr. Robert Two Bulls about Asampi Bleza, a relative who was killed in a skirmish with ranchers during the time of the Wounded Knee massacre. We met at an overlook with an amazing view of the badlands. We had lunch at the Episcopal church which included soup, fry bread, and Wojapi.
http://www.turtletrack.org
Following lunch, we returned to the retreat center to host children's hour, followed by Wednesday children's worship, followed by children's supper - sloppy joes. The evening concluded watching the documentary "Incident at Ogalala" about the Wounded Knee 71 day siege in 1973 and the violence that occurred in the 1970s over the corruption in tribal government and the differences in traditionalists vs progressives.
Judgment was the stumbling block of the day. I remember a few years ago I participated in some training to heal ones' judgment. The exercise consisted of naming a judgment you have about someone. Then naming what you think that means about them. Then owning that judgment as a fear that means something about you. Finally forgiving yourself for making a mistake and believing an untruth. For example, say you have a judgment about someone with a tattoo. You think what that tattoo means about them is that they are rebellious. Then think about what rebelliousness you judge in yourself or fear being judged for. Finally forgive yourself for making a mistake and believing something untrue.
Deep, I know.
The point is that fear and insecurity are the foundations of judgment which can lead to prejudice, -isms, and violence. "Fear not" is an ongoing theme in the Bible. It is the essence of Christ. Fear not. I have come to give you abundant life. Don't buy into the themes of scarcity and lack, the fears of judgment and hopelessness. Yet tonight I sat with children who can't walk a few blocks to the retreat center for fear of gang violence. I can't go for a walk or hang out alone anywhere while I'm here for fear of violence and feel pent up. The elderly cannot exercise with walks to treat their diabetes for fear of gang violence. This county is the poorest county in the nation. Only Hurricane Katrina has knocked in down to second poorest. What an honor. Yet folks say, that's not poverty if you got what matters - family and our values, our traditions, our community.
I've participated in metaphysical thought for a long time. I've also been a student of the Bible and Christian faith. There is an age-old wisdom I've come to know in my studies and observed here in the midst of poverty and violence. It is in asking all to focus not on the fear but the hope. To laugh when you could cry, stand strong when you feel weak, and love when it would be so easy to hate. Oh, and traveling in groups always helps. :)
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