When I was a kid we brought treats to share in class on our birthday. One of my classmates was born on April Fool’s Day and he took full advantage of this fact. One year he had us put our heads down, close our eyes and hold out our hands. Then he proceeded to place worms in our hands. April Fools! They were Gummy Worms!
When I think about the discipline of submission and I am reminded of how much life with God can feel like one big April Fool’s Day, filled with counter-cultural thoughts and practices. When I realized I was still called to ordained ministry and would have to re-start a process I’d ended in 2000 to finish the Master of Divinity degree, I thought it was a joke. “OK God, but the only way I’m gonna re-apply is if the Minneapolis Synod knocks on my door and asks me.” Fat chance of that happening, right? Wrong. I preached my first sermon back at leading worship at Spirit Garage and it was the only Sunday the bishop’s assistant responsible for ordained candidates ever attended Spirit Garage. Her words to me were, “Would you be interested in becoming a pastor? I’d love to meet with you. Next week work?” Yes Lord, I submit.
Then I challenged my call again by saying there is no way my file still existed in my former synod for a candidacy transfer. If they were shredded, I would not apply again. My call to Southwest MN Synod said the files had been shredded. Then a few hours later the phone rang. The administrator had gone down into storage and happened to find a random box hidden in the corner she had never noticed before. What was in the box? You guessed it, every file, application and record from my five years of candidacy with the SWMN Synod. Yes Lord, I submit.
I’ve heard submission described as: the freedom from the need to “Have it your way.” If I had it my way, I’d never grow through the challenges of life or stretch myself to see what I am truly capable of. My way would build a wall to keep out struggle but such a wall would keep out the good, the benefits, and the connections that come with a discipline of open-heartedness, the essence of submission.
The definition of “ego” I use is that of “edging God out.” When we get in the way of our greater good by focusing on our fear and not the expansion of love, humility, and fun that comes with submission we are like the child who keeps her eyes shut thinking she has a worm in her hand and never tastes the yummy sweetness of a silly treat. Submission is not easy. Submission is listening for the God voice in a world that buzzes with resistance. Over the years I’ve found submitting to that voice of God calms the resistance. I like to say fear is just fun in disguise. When I submit and surrender that fear I open my heart to, yes I’m going to say it, fun! Be a fool for God. Submit.
