This week was reality TV competitions’ season finales. I was a fan of American Idol and enjoyed Tuesday’s singing dual between Adam Lambert the glam rocker and Chris Allen the acoustic rocker. America voted and Adam is NOT the next American Idol.
In the scripture today we hear a story about the disciple’s reality competition for who would be the next 12th disciple. Prior to this moment Judas, of the original 12, had betrayed Jesus and was now dead. Jesus had risen and had stayed with all the disciples, men and women not just the 12, for forty days to help them understand “by many convincing proofs” that he was alive, real, and death could not hold him. At the end of the 40 days Luke tells us of his Ascension, that he is lifted up to the heavens. At that time, Jesus provides his followers with reassurance: “You will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you and you will be my witnesses…to the ends of the earth.” (Acts 1:8) Ten days later the Spirit descends from the heavens on Pentecost and anoints the disciples.
Sandwiched between these two mountain top experiences is a little church administrative business that needed taking care of. As a church administrative worker I get an extra kick out of this. You see there really is value in having good order and preparation for the future. Or at least Peter thought so. Peter steps up to remind all those gathered that they had to fill a gap and add an apostle to bring them back to the number 12, which was reflective of the 12 tribes of Israel. The candidates were required to not only be followers of Jesus, but to have been with him from the beginning of his public ministry, starting from John’s baptism right up to the recent Ascension. Amid the 120 gathered, two candidates were chosen. Verse 23 sets us up a bit to expect the election of Joseph called Barsabbas, called Justus and not Matthias because he seems to be the one better known and certainly chummier with folks. He had a nickname, like many of the 11 disciples did. Nonetheless, both were qualified, impassioned, and knew God’s purpose in their lives – to share the story of Jesus and the difference it made in their lives and the lives of others. So with prayers for God’s will to be done, for the great heart-knower to select the one who would replace Judas, Justus’ and Matthias’ names were carved in stone, placed in a container and shaken until one stone fell out. “And the lot fell on Matthias.” (Acts 1:26)
Somehow that sounds more ominous than being crowned the next American Idol. Not much is known about Matthias. There are speculations that he was a missionary to the Ethiopians, others that he stayed in Jerusalem witnessing to the power of the resurrected Christ in obviously quiet ways for we never hear another word about him again.
Nor do we ever hear about Justus again. No not JUSTICE, but JUSTUS. Here is an individual who had been there from the beginning. With all those nicknames he was probably a likeable fellow. Did he long to be part of the inner circle after all those years and trials? Of course he did. Anyone with his passion and devotion would have. But the lot was cast against him. That’s rough. It’s one thing to come in second when America votes, imagine being the one God didn’t choose. Have you ever done the work but not gotten what you thought you deserved. Or just had the odds against you? Your company lays off five people and you’re one of the five. You interview for a job and make it to the top two and are not chosen. After all the work, preparation, high hopes, the disappointment is mind-boggling. Justus may have had any of our very human responses to disappointment because Justus was “just us,” all of us who have thought they were on the right path only to have everything change and wondered “what’s up with that?”. He could have felt hurt, become critical, or let his pride hold him back from living out his passion to witness and minister. Because we never hear another word about Justus, and Luke was known to report the flaws of Christ’s followers, I’m guessing he didn’t behave badly. Maybe he just bounced back, giving Matthias a big hug and saying “I’ll support you in every way, brother.” Whether Justus had a new title and became part of the elite 12 or not, he still knew who he was and what God had placed in his heart to do. With or without a title, Justus would be a disciple of Jesus Christ and a witness to a life-changing story. He was a servant of God.
I thought about that idea of knowing your heart’s desire and making the decision to act upon it when I was watching American Idol. At the beginning of the season you encounter plenty of contestants who are, shall we say misdirected. As the season comes to a close you can discern that whether a finalist won Idol or not, they each knew they were musicians and entertainers and would keep being that with or without a title. Yet discerning our path in life is not always so clear. We use the best decision-making process we know when discerning our purpose in life and why we are here. Often times it is much later before we see the hand of God at work in matters. In Acts 1:24 the disciples pray “You Lord, who know the hearts of all…” Cardiognostis is the Greek word to be exact. It means “heart-knower.” They set an example for us when seeking to understand the desires of our hearts, the direction or next steps for our lives. They prayed to the great “heart-knower.” Yet, God just doesn’t whisper in your ear, not even for the 11 disciples of Christ and they were pretty tight with the Father. We don’t always know at that moment whether God is in what we’re doing or what we decide. As I read about this story in Acts I discovered an ongoing argument about whether the disciple’s made the right choice in their decision-making process for seeking a 12th disciple. Some say the disciples chose Matthias, but God chose Paul, the last guy in the world to be considered for the position. Maybe that’s why we never hear another word about Matthias. He was no Paul. The disciples did the best they could in discerning God’s will, just as we do. We choose, we decide, and we act and we do so in confidence.
Yes, bold decision-making is a funny thing about being a follower of God. You see, we can pray and pray for God’s specific will to be known, and sometimes have our prayers answered, and sometimes not know with any certainty what path to take. But as Martin Luther advised, we will have to choose boldly our path, knowing that God’s forgiving love will sustain us in the midst of our messy lives and our many decisions. Our bad decisions do not separate us from God.
It’s hard to know the will of God, to be certain we are on the right path, to understand the desires of our hearts being unfulfilled and the work we do going unrewarded. Take action anyway, make decisions anyway for the great heart-knower is listening. Every act made in faith to love God and your neighbor, every decision made in rest, reflection, and prayer is cast in the framework of God’s will with the promise of Christ’s compassion.
