Cowgirl Jazz

Yes God, I submit!

2011-02-16T11:35:00.001-08:00

When I was a kid we brought treats to share in class on our birthday. One of my classmates was born on April Fool’s Day and he took full advantage of this fact. One year he had us put our heads down, close our eyes and hold out our hands. Then he proceeded to place worms in our hands. April Fools! They were Gummy Worms!

When I think about the discipline of submission and I am reminded of how much life with God can feel like one big April Fool’s Day, filled with counter-cultural thoughts and practices. When I realized I was still called to ordained ministry and would have to re-start a process I’d ended in 2000 to finish the Master of Divinity degree, I thought it was a joke. “OK God, but the only way I’m gonna re-apply is if the Minneapolis Synod knocks on my door and asks me.” Fat chance of that happening, right? Wrong. I preached my first sermon back at leading worship at Spirit Garage and it was the only Sunday the bishop’s assistant responsible for ordained candidates ever attended Spirit Garage. Her words to me were, “Would you be interested in becoming a pastor? I’d love to meet with you. Next week work?” Yes Lord, I submit.

Then I challenged my call again by saying there is no way my file still existed in my former synod for a candidacy transfer. If they were shredded, I would not apply again. My call to Southwest MN Synod said the files had been shredded. Then a few hours later the phone rang. The administrator had gone down into storage and happened to find a random box hidden in the corner she had never noticed before. What was in the box? You guessed it, every file, application and record from my five years of candidacy with the SWMN Synod. Yes Lord, I submit.
I’ve heard submission described as: the freedom from the need to “Have it your way.” If I had it my way, I’d never grow through the challenges of life or stretch myself to see what I am truly capable of. My way would build a wall to keep out struggle but such a wall would keep out the good, the benefits, and the connections that come with a discipline of open-heartedness, the essence of submission.
The definition of “ego” I use is that of “edging God out.” When we get in the way of our greater good by focusing on our fear and not the expansion of love, humility, and fun that comes with submission we are like the child who keeps her eyes shut thinking she has a worm in her hand and never tastes the yummy sweetness of a silly treat. Submission is not easy. Submission is listening for the God voice in a world that buzzes with resistance. Over the years I’ve found submitting to that voice of God calms the resistance. I like to say fear is just fun in disguise. When I submit and surrender that fear I open my heart to, yes I’m going to say it, fun! Be a fool for God. Submit.

An Advent Sermon - What do you Expect?

2010-12-03T08:08:00.000-08:00

Isaiah 2:1-5
Matthew 24:36-44
A couple years ago the Washington Post decided to do an experiment. They placed hidden cameras in the D.C. metro station during the morning rush hour. For 43 minutes one of the nation’s greatest violinist performed six classical pieces while 1,097 people passed by. Joshua Bell had just played a concert the night before where the cheap seats had sold for $100. However, only seven people stopped what they were doing to hang around and take in the performance at least for a minute. Twenty-seven gave money while on the run for a total of $32 and change. That leaves 1,070 people who hurried, oblivious to the event. There is a video on you-tube of the experiment set in fast motion. It is eerie how people rush by, yet Joshua Bell’s movements remain fluid and graceful. The Washington post wrote, “You think he is a ghost. Then you see it: He is the one who is real. They are the ghosts.”
The conclusion of the experiment was that people don’t recognize beauty if they haven’t been trained to see it. Do we recognize God where we haven’t been trained to see God? Where is God that you don’t expect God to be? When have we been like ghosts in a God moment?
I was raised in the church. I remember having children’s Bible stories read to me, going to Boys & Girls Fellowship on Sunday nights, singing in the church choir, acting in the Carpenter’s Tools drama group, and going to Bible camp. I grew up a church geek. I’ve been trained well to find God where I’m supposed to find God.
We live in an age of information overload where compartmentalizing life is a basic form of survival. Nonetheless, with the new age of social networking, our work and family and school and social lives are co-mingling. The lines are blurring. God is not just a church thing. God has blurred the lines for centuries. God does not compartmentalize well. God is not where God is supposed to be when we expect God to be there. God is not what we expect more often than what we expect. Where is God that you don’t expect God to be? Would we even know how to recognize those moments?
FILM CLIP – Stethoscope
Today begins the church’s New Year. It is Advent which is four weeks of traveling forward, a season of anticipation and expectation. What do you expect? Or maybe what do you not expect? The text this morning tells us to keep awake, be alert. That Christ comes again like a thief in the night and we do not know the hour or the time. This is not a call to insomnia, but to spiritual awakening. Jesus is telling this to a community of sleepy people, caught up in the mundane routines of life and unaware of the extraordinary in the ordinary. Sleepy people no longer believe that anything will change, that today and tomorrow look exactly the same and so they sleepwalk through their lives.
Meister Eckhart was a German theologian, philosopher and mystic in the 14th century who said, “What good is it if Mary was full of grace unless I am full of grace? And what good is it if Christ was born a long time ago, if he is not born in me, in my time, and in my culture?” This Advent season Spirit Garage is expecting Christ to be born in our hearts, our time, and our culture. We are expecting a God that rarely comes the way that we predict. No one expected a teenaged single mom would bear God? Who expected the kicks in her belly would inspire dreams of no more hunger, the lifting of the lowly and not learning war any more. Where is God kicking about in and among you? Where have you found God that you didn’t expect God to be?
Sadly, it sometimes takes monumental moments to wake us up. Think of 9/11 and how many people were awakened to the preciousness of life, to the shortness of time and the urgency of the moment. Our scripture today is saying, don’t get caught up in the ho-hum in life that it takes a tragedy to wake you up. Don’t get so caught up in the business-as-usual of life that you get robbed of life’s simple beauty and pleasures.
Theologian David Bartlett writes, “One day Jesus may appear in the clouds, suddenly, like a thief in the night. But before that – as [the book of] Matthew reminds us – Jesus will appear just around the corner, suddenly, like a hungry person, or a neighbor ill-clothed, or someone sick or imprisoned.” Matthew 25 tells us how we can encounter Jesus everyday in every person we speak to. 35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.
Think of it, where is God that you don’t expect God to be? The hallmark of grace is that it is unexpected. Witness or participate in unexpected grace and mercy and you will see God where you least expected. God lives in those places we don’t want to go. Are there places or future circumstances that are so filled with unknowns and frightening possibilities that you just can’t go there? Consider putting your stethoscope in those places and you could hear mercy, forgiveness, reconciliation, love, joy, gratitude, justice, hope, beauty, and creative energy there because they are the character of our God who is living there and everywhere already. So step out with hope into the unknowns of our financially struggling, war torn, weary world with eyes wide-open & awake for God. Your pace may slow down and you may feel more real than a ghost in life. You may notice beauty where you once walked by. You may recognize hope where you only saw trouble. You may create an entirely new life from the rubble of who you once were. That’s God-stuff for you. It blurs the lines of our neat compartments and like a world-class musician panning for dollars in a subway, may surprise us when we least expect.

A Question of Life after Death

2010-11-06T17:45:00.000-07:00

This is a message given when I filled in for a vacationing pastor of Luke 20:27-38. Jesus is confronted with a riddle of one woman who had 7 husbands. He is asked who will be her husband in the resurrection. It's a question about is there really life after death.

I teased your pastor that she must have looked at today’s text and decided it was a good weekend to take vacation. This is what you call a “tough text.” As a seminary student, I’m familiar with debating questions of life after death and resurrection. Yet it is a far different experience trying to explain or understand such concepts when one is experiencing the emotional gravity and painful isolation of grief. What do you say when a child asks, “Where is mommy now? Will I ever see her again?” That is the moment smart theories lose their zeal and your gut aches with the true mystery of God and God’s plans for us.

Death can suck the faith right out of you. Maybe that is one reason we live in such denial of the topic. We try so hard to keep its reality from touching us. We have people die in hospitals, we have funeral homes to deal with the bodies for us, we pay money to make our dead look like they were alive, some of us keep our children from funerals, and for some the subject of death is a forbidden conversation. We are appalled by death, hide from it, or just plain ignore it until it comes knocking on our doors. Yet, when we receive news of a terminal diagnosis or experience the death of someone very significant, we can’t get enough information about death and have a voracious desire to ask the deep questions of life after death. We long to know if the one’s we have lost, if we ourselves will continue on or if death is final. We long to end the deep isolation and fear that our grief evokes. What happens next is a hope-filled mystery.

In today’s text, Jesus is in Jerusalem and is on his way to the cross. Every time he speaks, someone is out to trick him and find something to charge him with. And so he encounters the Sadducees.

Sadducees only followed the first five books of the Bible; they rejected the idea of resurrection, an afterlife, angels and other principalities because they were not mentioned in those books. The Pharisees on the other hand regarded the first five books, the prophets’ writings, wisdom literature, and oral tradition all to be valid scripture, most of what we study today. The Sadducees were wealthy, upper crust socialites who were in alignment with the Roman government and only served the temple in Jerusalem. They faded away after the temple was destroyed.

Their question to Jesus is intended to prove how ludicrous and irrational the concept of a resurrection is. Yet Jesus points out a radical thought, that what happens next is not a continuation of life as we know it. The Sadducees take life as we experience it now and project it into life after death. It’s a popular mistake. Think of all the images of heaven you’ve been exposed to. Heaven is imagined as some kind of wonderful theme park where everything is as it is now – only perfect. Everyone is happy, healthy, wealthy and wise – life is a continuous afternoon on a Caribbean beach where you can eat all the ice cream you want and always look perfect. Heaven is the “better place” where every soul is “better off.” Likewise, Hell is imagined as the worst moment of this life continuously played out.

However, what happens next is a hope-filled mystery. When Jesus says there is no marriage in the resurrection, Jesus is explaining that the resurrection is a new creation. At that time, women were the property of their husband with the job of producing an heir, so a family lived on. Jesus is letting us know that in the resurrection we experience a complete revolution of relationships where we will no longer relate to one another in roles of power versus powerlessness, no more divisions, no more death, no more pain but an entirely new experience of life.

The reality is there is no complete description of heaven or resurrection life in the Bible. Clearly any descriptions would require human ability to understand. Trying to understand heaven is like explaining an iPhone to a 1st century Sadducee. So here lie the dilemma, we naturally think about the future in a way that is somehow based on our experience, past and present. This future, the kingdom come, is not based on anything we’ve known. What happens next is a hope-filled mystery.

Resurrection is a tough concept to comprehend. Maybe that is why the idea of immortality of the soul seems easier to digest than resurrection of the body. Immortality of the soul was a Greek concept taught by Socrates and Plato in which the soul is good and lives eternally but the body is bad and is discarded in death. This is not a Christian concept. Resurrection of the body is what Jesus taught. Resurrection is not some sort of resuscitation of more of the same. This body we have hurts. It has pain. It needs to eat to survive. It has biological drives. This body fails you. This body needs to die. This body will return to dust and ash, whether naturally or speeded up by cremation. Resurrection is not a continuation of this life. Resurrection is not carrying on of a family line. There is a physical resurrection, but not a fleshly resuscitation. I will not have THIS body again.

This is not an easy thing to grasp, especially since most of us try to avoid the topic of death and the afterlife. However, what happens next is a hope-filled mystery. Jesus is a resurrected body and we also will be a resurrected person. Only the living can experience that which lives; only the living can encounter the “Living God.” God is God of the living. So we are alive, will be alive in God, will not just be floating spirits, but truly alive.

But we’re not dead yet, so how do we live as truly alive as we possibly can in this life? We take this knowledge of a hope-filled mystery, concerning resurrection and life after death, and transform our living now. God’s new life breaks into our here and now. Where is God at work in your life today? God is doing new things now and with resurrection eyes we are empowered to recognize such hope today. In the Lord’s Prayer we pray, “Thy kingdom come, thy will be done here on earth as in heaven.” We are the hands and feet of that kingdom. We are the children of God now and that means we are being called and sent in this present moment to create spiritual community, share in relationships of love, show compassion, and basically bring heaven to earth now. What we do now matters.

Our belief in the resurrection is based upon a relationship of faith we have with God as creator, redeemer, and Spirit. I know that my redeemer lives. We have been given the companionship of the Holy Spirit to guide and orient us in the dizziness of death and grief. God has a plan that includes life after death. We know because the Spirit is present with us illuminating our senses to the dark mysteries of what comes next. We can trust God in these questions. God is God of the living, so knowing what happens next is a hope-filled mystery we shout the words of Paul “Oh Death where is your Sting? Oh grave where is your victory?” (1 Corinthians 15:55)

Did Jesus Wear Pink and Purple?

2010-11-06T17:42:00.000-07:00

This is a sermon I gave while filling in for a vacationing pastor. It is based on Luke 18:9-14.
This past Wednesday I and many of my friends wore pink or purple shirts to recognize National Bullying Prevention Day. Over 160,000 kids stay home from school in a single day because of bullies. Often the bullying goes unreported and is perpetuated by the stigma associated with seeking help. In many cases bullying can lead to suicide. There have already been 5 suicides due to bullying in the Minneapolis-Anoka school district this year, three associated with Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual/Transgender ridicule. The point of wearing a specific colored shirt was to promote prevention and start conversation so that we can put a stop to bullying of ALL people in ALL places: kids and adults, schools and workplaces, to create a community of acceptance. Why one color was pink is due to two high school seniors in Nova Scotia in 2007 who stood up for a fellow male freshman student who was being bullied on the first day of school for wearing a pink shirt. The boys heard about it, bought a bunch of pink shirts, handed them out and texted their friends to wear pink. The next day, nearly the entire student body was wearing pink. They told their community that bullying was not okay. Likewise there is a viral video movement in the cause of suicide prevention called the “It Gets Better Project”. Countless videos online of famous and not so famous people sharing their stories of feeling left out, being bullied, and the pain of not fitting anyone’s mold concluding with the message that “It Gets Better”. In addition, viewers are asked to take the pledge: Everyone deserves to be respected for who they are. I pledge to spread this message to my friends, family and neighbors. I'll speak up against hate and intolerance whenever I see it, at school and at work. I'll provide hope for lesbian, gay, bi, trans and other bullied teens by letting them know that "It Gets Better."

God loves in spite of who we think we are. Deep down, many of us carry a thought “I’m not good enough.” We think we don’t hit the mark; we are haunted by past failure and somehow guilty. The message of humility first gleaned from today’s text can be misunderstood to mean feeling bad about yourself is spiritual. Maybe the church has stressed human sinfulness so much we’ve missed stressing human godlikeness, leaving some people seeking other spiritual communities to heal their pain.

The Trappist monk, Thomas Merton, said, “Humility is being precisely the person you actually are in the presence of God.” That means focusing on God’s presence and who we are in that presence, not on behaving a certain way to earn heavenly kudos. A way to be in the presence of God is to pray. Prayer brings us closer to God and one another. It is a means of restoring the image of God in us. Prayer is the first wireless network of communication connecting us with God, each other and revealing a significant amount about our relationship with God and others.

Prayer is the one activity the Pharisee and the tax collector share in common this morning. The tax collector prayed at a distance not even looking up, in a posture of grief, asking for mercy. He does so with the possibility of drawing closer to God. The Pharisee prays standing above in a posture of being turned into oneself, or self-focused. His is a prayer of thanksgiving. He is thankful that he is good and not like other people. His righteous life-style is his salvation; he is a spiritual bully making sure” the other” knows he’s better.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” One of the common issues Jesus addressed in his ministry was that of how we build our sense of value, our sense of worth. In the story of the Pharisee and the tax collector, the Pharisee tries to prove his goodness by recounting what a great guy he is. He’s never been to prison, never murdered anyone, and been honest in his business, never cheated on his wife, provided for his kids, gone to church every week, prayed every day. To prove his point he brings up how thankful he is not to be like others who cheat on their wives, rip off the system, drink too much, make easy money. Thank God I am not like that tax collector. I give away a tenth of all I earn and I make it honestly. I contribute to my community.

However good the things the Pharisee can account for himself, he does not go home justified by God. To be justified is to be in right relationship and cleared of all transgressions. It is God’s grace toward the undeserving. Many of us carry dark secrets, addictions, failures, “if onlys”, regrets and none of us are as self sufficient and reputable as we would like others to think. And making others feel bad about themselves won’t help our self-worth either. God loves us in spite of who we think we are.

I must admit I’m a rule-follower and over-achiever, not unlike the Pharisee. Sometimes I get upset with God because I think life should hold less struggles and more rewards for being good. But bad things happen to good people and “bad people” can seem to face fewer trials. So I struggle with Jesus’ words that the tax collector, who is not a likeable fellow, goes justified and the Pharisee does not. Jesus’ audience would have figured his story’s punch-line would have been that both were justified, not that the Pharisee was left out. But this isn’t the first time Jesus told a story like that. Remember the older brother in the story of the Prodigal Son who is upset about being a good son and never having a party thrown for him. Why does the bad brother get justification and I don’t? This is troublesome, for it means that God’s justification is not based on what we do to earn it. We can’t manipulate God to bless us, love us, and work for our benefit. We can’t control God. God is a wild force that justifies in spite of our life-style, prayers, appearance, acceptability, and likeableness. Dr. Fred Craddock comments on this text with:

The Pharisee is not a venomous villain and the publican is not generous Joe the bartender or Goldie the good-hearted hooker. Such portrayals belong in cheap novels. If the Pharisee is pictured as a villain and the tax collector as a hero, then each gets what he deserves, there is no surprise of grace and the parable is robbed. In Jesus’ story, what both receive is “in spite of,” not “because of.”

God loves us in spite of who we think we are. Whatever we think separates us from God is no more. Whatever we have done that makes us think we are unworthy doesn’t count. Whatever it is we think makes us no good is taken care of. Jesus’ death on the cross says to each one of us “you are so valuable, you are somebody, and you are set free from the wounding of your mind to be the wonderful, unique creature that you are.”

And so, I challenge you to take this knowledge of your blessedness and justification in spite of what you think you are to go live life in that knowledge. Living in that knowledge, you cannot stand for bullying of any kind. This is not about approving another’s choices or life experience or even liking the person being bullied. This is about being humane, living out your godlikeness, living out our relationship with God and each other. Jesus might have worn pink. He definitely saw the beautiful child of God that lives in both bully and bullied. Let us each strive to share the good news that we are each worth it and called to treat each other as though we stood in the presence of God 24/7.

What do you tote?

2010-10-08T08:40:00.000-07:00

Recently I've experienced a sore shoulder and neck. One reason is the weight of my purse. A Chicago Tribune article showed these results when 48 purses were weighed on August 24 outside Tribune Tower.

* 6 lbs. average bag weight
* 5 participants complaining of back pain
* 8 lbs. heaviest single purse without laptop
* 20.4 lbs. heaviest total load
* 2.9 lbs. lightest single purse
* 9 women claiming to have just cleaned out their purse
Why do I carry all my cards, coupons, 4 shades of lipstick, and those just in case items like a swiss army knife? It's time to lighten my load and keep it simple.

This physical example of bearing unnecessary weight, just in case you need it, applies to the metaphysical as well. What beliefs, stories we tell ourselves, bear down on us unnecessarily? What pain to you tote on your shoulders like a backpack of security? Is it the pain of your divorce keeping you from committing to a new relationship? Is it the fear of past failure slowing your pace toward new adventures? Is it the judgment you received in one religious community holding you back from exploring a new spiritual community?

Consider lightening up your life. Start with the physical - clean out your purse, desk, house and simplify. Then, motivated by this physical environment ease into the deeper emotional and spiritual burdens that weigh down your shoulders and back. Begin with a few simple questions and go from there:
What do I want?
What do I need?
What do I believe?
What can I change?

There's an app for that!

2010-08-29T14:54:00.000-07:00

I will not keep silent; I will speak out in the anguish of my spirit. I will complain in the bitterness of my soul. Job 7:11 (NIV)

Ten years ago these were the words of my mouth as much as they were Job's. I had experienced a deep disappointment and my soul ached with bitterness. I remember reading the Psalms as if I had never read them before. Whenever a psalm used the phrase "my enemies," I would replace it with the names of those who had hurt me and received a certain cathartic delight. It was the beginning of a healing process that I am deeply thankful for. Yet I often wonder if the journey might have been easier. Nonetheless most experiences into the depths of suffering and pain call for the courage to speak your grief, acknowledge your place as one with a larger creation - a God's eye view of life, and to be forever changed by the experience.

The Scriptures tell the story of God's relationship with creation and humanities' relationship with God. Complaining and being upset is a difficult aspect of relationships, especially when it comes to knowing how to express one's grief without harming others in the process. Scripture has "an app for that." The Hebrew people were not afraid to voice their complaints to the LORD about the problems of evil and suffering. Their verbal expression of grief make up a large body of literature in the Bible including parts of Job, Habakkuk, lament Psalms, Lamentation (the only book named after an emotion) and much of Jeremiah.

To apply this app to life, let’s begin with Job. Job complained bitterly to God about his suffering. He lost everything, his family, status, wealth, and all means of security and identity in one day. Then he was plagued by a horrific skin disease that left him living in a trash heap. His wife told him to curse God and die. His “comforters” told him it was his own fault. Yet Job would not accept their conclusions. He persisted in his innocence and begged God for a chance to present his case before God. Job got his opportunity, but quickly had nothing to say as God presented a series of rhetorical questions. In these divine speeches, Job realizes he cannot condemn God to justify himself. That he is just one among the many creations that delight our creator and that such a creator has given order to the chaos that is. God restores twice what Job lost and this time Job sees his life from God’s perspective finding delight in what he has, worrying less about keeping everything under control.

The text this morning is from the beginning of Job’s journey into suffering. Job was a man who tried to do the right thing. When his children threw a party, he would pray and make sacrifices for them, just in case they did or said anything that might offend the LORD. Job didn’t like messy. But life gets messy. A healthy pregnancy and birth can end with Sudden Infant Death, a waitress who never smoked a day in her life can die of lung cancer because of second-hand smoke from the job that had sustained her for 30 years, an honor student and promising athlete can be killed in a car accident the day before starting college. We know the messiness; some of us are living in it right now.

These are the moments we realize how little control we have over so much that damages our society and ourselves. These are the moments when God seems silent. St. John of the Cross referred to days of doubt and estrangement from God as “the dark night of the soul.” Henri Nouwen called them “the ministry of absence.” A. W. Tozer called them “the ministry of the night.” Others refer to “the winter of the heart.” These are the terms of deep spiritual transformation that are often instigated by the tragedy and absurdity of life events. Grief, rage, anger and fear flash to the surface of our consciousness. Where do we go with these feelings? How do we express them? Who will listen when we speak? Where is the app for this?

The value of Biblical laments becomes priceless in these moments. A lament is a cry to God with our doubts and our complaints against God. They give us the freedom and permission to be honest about our suffering and allow us to descend into the depths that is necessary before healing can occur. Both spiritual and psychological counseling traditions recognize that speaking our complaints creates a context for surrender. Surrender – the turning of our heart over to God, asking for mercy, and receiving God’s terms for restoration is impossible without battle. To put it simply, it is inconceivable to surrender to God unless we have first declared war against him. A lament is a battle cry against God that paradoxically voices a heart of desire and faith in his goodness.

Hear the battle cry of Job: “I can’t be quiet! I am angry and bitter. I have to speak.” Such words involve deep emotion. To speak your doubt and despair is truly asking, seeking, and knocking to comprehend the heart of God. Praying our grief is a passion to ask. A lament uses language of pain, anger and confusion and moves toward God. It is not mere whining.

Lament speaks the language of the shadow side of faith. The person who hears your lament is someone you deeply and wildly trust. Lament reveals the raw nerve of trust. It cuts through insincerity. You don’t lament to someone who could fire you or threaten a cherished relationship. You don’t trust them. You don’t believe they would endure the depths of your disappointment and confusion. You admit your complaint against God because deep down you believe and have faith in God’s faithfulness, grace, and mercy. By trusting God with our dark side, we share our deepest hurts and disappointments. We know that God won’t give up on us.

The apostle John wrote that when our heart condemns us, God is greater than our hearts and knows all things, and so we can quiet our hearts. In the book of Revelation the Lord says repeatedly to the churches: “I know” – where you live; your poverty, your tribulation, the slander you have to endure. In the Greek Bible, God is called the kardiognostes, the heart-knower.

The great heart-knower has suffered the depths of life’s tragedies. Whatever messes afflict and grieve us to the core of our being, God has seen it, known it, and taken it into God’s own life in Jesus who was crucified, who died, descended into hell, and was raised on the third day. The Old Testament is not the only place we find permission to speak our pain and bitterness for the New Testament bears the cry of God in anguish, doubt, and search. “My God, My God why have you forsaken me?” The cross is the place for every human experience of hell on earth. God knows this; God has been there, and as a consequence we know that God can be trusted.

Mary Oliver in her poem “At Black River” writes: Then I remember, death comes before the rolling away of the stone. Our pain, sadness, and tragedies are often personal teachers that open us to fearless honesty. Like Job, we find a voice to speak our grief. In the depths of our despair the dark soil is laid for the growth of joy and healing. In doubt we live out our deepest expressions of faith. In our battle cry against God we seek truth as we have never done before. Our pain initiates a search, our anger clarifies the demand for relief, and our confusion opens our heart to change. Here we are transformed and truly known. If you are in the darkness of stone yet to be rolled away – there’s an app for that. Speak your bitterness and anger to the great heart-knower.

I close in prayer from Hymn 703 (ELW) “O God, Why Are Your Silent” by Marty Haugen:
May pain draw forth compassion, let wisdom rise from loss;
oh, take my heart and fashion the image of your cross;
then may I know your healing through healing that I share,
your grace and love revealing, your tenderness and care.

What not to wear this Christmas

2009-12-21T08:53:00.000-08:00

Colossians 3: 12- 17

As God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly; teach and admonish one another in all wisdom; and with gratitude in your hearts sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

I'm a bit of a fashionista. I love to sparkle and bling with lots of purple and royal blue. I dress to the way I feel - maybe it's rock-n-roll or a little country or some vintage piece. I costume my exterior to express myself or make a statement. But this text is about what am I going to wear on the inside. Could you imagine a world where we all wore an interior uniform of kindness, compassion, humility, love, patience, meekness and gratitude?

At Christmas I reflect on how the Christ is being born in me. How have I lived out a life clothed in Christ? This year was one of daily transformations and little miracles, of expanding my heart in the context of scarcity and fear. I guess you could say, with a little style advice from Colossians I skirted around what not to wear.

So this Christmas as you open presents of new clothes or don an ugly Christmas sweater, consider what you will wear on the inside? Such simple choices could change the world.

Merry Christmas from CowgirlJazz

Jesus and the Little Cynic

2009-09-05T14:48:00.000-07:00

My last Summer Sunday preaching is on James 2: 1-17 & Mark 7:24-37.
As we celebrate this Labor Day weekend we hear a story from the Gospel of Mark of Jesus’ attempt to take his own Labor Day. In the previous chapter 5, Jesus feeds thousands with meager supplies, and then in chapter 6, he royally offends the Jewish religious leaders of his time by getting into a debate over what is clean and unclean to eat or touch. In the end he tells them it’s not about how well you wash your hands or eat the right foods but the value and pureness of what you say and do in life. Since, established barriers, boundaries, or rules of separation between Jewish and Gentile were kosher, Sabbath, and circumcision, his comment crossed the kosher boundaries and was considered appalling. Then, to add kindling to the fire you might say, Jesus has the audacity to go on vacation to a seashore residence in Gentileville! Maybe he thought leaving his own, familiar territory would give him the opportunity to get perspective on his own people, maybe he thought he could re-charge his batteries by the seashore, or maybe this move was to prove a point that would change the future of his followers forever.
This audacity to cross boundaries reminds me of a story by Ernst Kasemann (Jesus Means Freedom) about a church in Holland in a year which had seen rising tides and collapsing dikes. One particularly bad weekend, it was necessary for the town mayor to ask the pastor of the local Reformed church to bring all of his people out to help repair the dikes on Sunday morning or else they might lose the entire town. The pastor called the church elders together who discussed the matter and concluded that they had been commanded to keep the Sabbath holy, so if they perished it was God’s will, but they would not cancel services. The pastor then mentioned Jesus’ violation of the Sabbath law, hoping it might stimulate some further thought. To which one old elder says, “Pastor, I have never before ventured to say this publicly, but I’ve always thought our Lord Jesus was a bit of a liberal.” (www.preachingpeace.org)
The opportunity to liberally challenge yet another social boundary comes immediately as a pagan woman, a Gentile, approaches Jesus with deference, respect, and determined desperation. This isn’t the first Gentile to approach Jesus. Jairus was a Gentile of honorable standing who is helped immediately by Jesus. Yet Jesus turns a deaf ear to this woman. Why? We can surmise from her daughter having a bed to sleep in and her proper approach that she was most likely a woman of good standing and respect. However, it was proper for a male head of family to make petitions not a woman. In gender lies the difference. There were very strict social boundaries and mores to discourage contact between men and women, even more concerning contact between Jews and Gentiles. Yet this woman will not take no for an answer. She is confident in her faith that he can cure her daughter. Her faith that even crumbs would be enough breaks through Jesus’ hindrance to answer her plea.
This passage is one that perplexes many Christians for it reveals a very human image of Christ and it is certainly not an image of “Buddy Jesus.” Although many commentators emphasize Jesus’ use of the diminutive word for dog, Jesus is still throwing an insult her way when he calls the woman a dog. This is what shocks us today. To contemporary listeners of Mark, the shocking fact is that Jesus healed the Gentile girl. It was common conviction that Gentiles were unworthy, that they were dogs. When Jesus hears this woman out and concedes to her clever argument he is re-framing an entire social self-concept. This is one of the most pivotal moments in Christian history. This is the moment of a paradigm shift in which we realize Jesus Christ is not a savior limited to those who are like him. No, Jesus Christ is savior to all!
That’s good news, but maybe you’re still troubled by Jesus calling the woman and her daughter “little dogs” (kynaria, a diminutive of kyon, “dog”). I learned some interesting history relating to that common insult of the day. In the fourth century B.C.E. a philosophical movement began in Greece that was very critical of social and cultural conventions and political institutions. The followers of this movement were aggressive, rude, and sometimes used shameless behavior like barking or peeing on a leg of a table to be noticed and heard. Nonetheless they came to be called kynes, “dogs”, a name they adopted for their movement. The word was later translated into English as “Cynics.” Cynics are associated with being faultfinders, in a pursuit for virtue they are quick to point out the flaws in others. Although, today we think of cynics as people motivated by selfishness or whose outlook is extremely negative, the essence of a cynic is to challenge convention. Jesus is challenged about the customary boundaries that stood in the way of helping those in need by a “little cynic.” (The Women’s Bible Commentary, Carol A. Newsom & Sharon H. Ringe ed. p269.)
In light of this definition, one might call our text from James 2, a little cynical. James is convinced of Christ’s message, to be the savior to all, and points out the sin of favoritism that Christians were and still do practice. It’s human nature to want to stick with that which is most familiar. The great division in culture today has more to do with money and class than even race or sexuality. We are divided by our comfort levels. James challenges that comfort and invites us to take the next step from knowing we are saved and justified by faith to living and acting out that faith. Don’t just believe. Let that belief sink deep into the way you live your life, make decisions, or speak to others. That’s a powerful message and a lifelong struggle for all of us. We all make mistakes and feel unworthy at some point. It’s hard to come back from those moments and live up to our faith, especially if you happen to have a few little cynics around who are quick to point out your faults.
This past week I’ve been prepping for confirmation classes and it is in Luther’s Small Catechism that I found some spiritual relief. In the back of your ELW, pg 1162, you will find the Small Catechism by Martin Luther, specifically his commentary of The Apostle’s Creed. The Third Article on Being Made Holy reads: I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy catholic church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and the life everlasting.
Then you find the infamous Luther question, “What is this?” Luther used that question because it was what his young son would say all day long as he saw or experienced something new. “Was ist los, Poppa” Since Luther’s intent was for this to be a teaching tool for parents to pass on faith to their children he considered it the perfect question. So what is this? I believe that by my own understanding or strength I cannot believe in Jesus Christ my Lord or come to him, but instead the Holy Spirit has called me through the gospel, enlightened me with his gifts, made me holy and kept me in the true faith, just as he calls, gathers, enlightens, and makes holy the whole Christian church on earth and keeps it with Jesus Christ in the one common, true faith. Daily in this Christian church the Holy Spirit abundantly forgives all sins – mine and those of all believers. On the last day the Holy Spirit will raise me and all the dead and will give to me and all believers in Christ eternal life. This is most certainly true.
No matter how hard we try, we all have our shadow side and we cannot by our own strength and understanding get past that, but the Holy Spirit can and does. So we have a Savior who is savior to all people and a Spirit that calls, gathers, enlightens, and makes us holy, that abundantly forgives, and grants us the opportunity to take a painful look into our hearts and release the shadows that live there in full knowledge that we may be healed and by being healed, heal others. The blessing of “little cynics” is their ability to point out faults in social rules and mores that prevent universal help, hope and healing. Little cynics help us take ownership of our shadows. Barbara Brown Taylor is a preacher and writer who composed a sermon entitled “Owning Your Own Shadow” in her book Bread of Angels. She writes:
Jesus knows the truth about us and our judgments about one another, especially when we place “some” of God’s children on the other side of a line that we draw: “The danger is not out there, with the people who frighten and disturb us. The danger is in here, in the part of us that wants to cut ourselves off from them. There is actual evil in the shadow we will not own.” (www.i.ucc.org “Be Opened”)
May we all be opened to receive the Spirit and be made holy. May we examine our hearts and minds and release the shadows within. May we cross the boundaries with knowledge and belief in God’s abundant and overflowing grace to all and for all. May we know, this is most certainly true.

One of those Days – Stressin’ in the Wilderness, August 2, 2009

2009-09-05T12:28:00.002-07:00

Been a tough week for me, a definite wilderness experience. This is the message I got from the readings in Exodus 16:2-4, 9-15 & John 6:24-35. Exodus 16 is the story of the Isrealites after they've escaped from Egypt and find themselves starving. They complain very loudly about this. God hears their complaints and responds with provisions: quail meat and strange bread flakes called Manna (literally "What is it?").

Ever have one of those days, weeks, maybe even years? You know the kind of day that goes from bad to worse and back to bad again. Somehow you get through those tough times, but not without a well-deserved cry of woe. People are stressing out everywhere with good reason. We live in a time of global economic turbulence. Every one of us is being touched in some way by the loss of jobs, homes, healthcare, pensions and savings, fears of identity theft, rejection in relationships, and diagnosis of diseases. We live in a wilderness of insecurity. We seek relief from our stress by enrolling in stress management classes, learning to meditate or do yoga, getting spiritual, or trying to change our lifestyles. Even these good intentions end up stressing us out. It’s just one more thing to do to make things better, to feel safer, and to finally exhale. Peace and rest is what we’re starving for in our personal wilderness.

Exodus 16 tells the story of grumbling Israelites who are being shaped from freed slaves to people of God. This is a culturally identifying story. There are two lessons here, one is that God is Jehovah Jireh – The LORD our Provider. The second lesson is that we should honor Sabbath rest, for it identifies us as followers of God who trust he is our provider.

The wilderness is an exciting time filled with lessons of trust. No sooner had the people left Egypt than they are being hunted down by the Egyptians. God provides for their safety and the people celebrate. Three days later the people are thirsty and can only find bitter water. God provides clean water to drink. Then on the 15th day of the second month, the people are grumbling again about starving. I don’t know about you, but about now I’d be having my doubts as to how dense and self-centered these folks are, but not God. God hears their grumblings and responds by providing exactly what they need and always enough for everyone. Of course, he does have a bit of a joke on those who are inclined to hoard. You could only gather enough manna for the day; any extra would be spoiled and full of maggots by the end of the day. The only exception to this rule was the 6th day when Israelites were instructed to gather enough for two days and rest on the 7th day, the Sabbath. God was teaching them to depend on Him, one day at a time.

Yet, when one is having a personal wilderness experience, it is difficult to see any good in present circumstances. The wilderness is a place of danger and want. We are tempted to look to the past and see a time of security in comparison to the vast unknowns we find ourselves in. Though our message today is that the wilderness is NOT God-forsaken, it sure feels like it is. That is why I am struck by Exodus 16:10:

“And as Aaron spoke to the whole congregation of the Israelites, they looked toward the wilderness, and the glory of the LORD appeared in the cloud.”

When the whole congregation turned their faces toward the wilderness they were turning their faces away from Egypt. They were forced to refocus. To refocus in the wilderness can lead to focusing in on the important things, truly knowing what they are and appreciating them. The wilderness can also be a space for learning new ways of being that is not based on our identities in the past. The wilderness can be a place of discovery and reinvention. Although the wilderness can feel like death, God can and does provide in ways that fit the insecure and unknown present.

Our gospel lesson from John 6 expands the lessons of Exodus. John 6:32-35 reads: Then Jesus said to them, “Very truly, I tell you, it was not Moses who gave you the bread from heaven, but it is my Father who gives you the true bread from heaven. For the bread of God is that which comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.” They said to him, “Sir, give us this bread always.” Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.”

If peace and rest are what we hunger for in our personal wilderness, then Jesus is offering an opportunity to refocus and find what we are looking for. The crowd was focused on their memory of having their needs met the day before, on daily bread. Jesus is asking them to turn their faces from Egypt and face the wilderness where God sustains our lives for life. It is frightening to face the wilderness, the places of insecurity and unknowns but Jesus is no stranger to this fear. You see, God has been to the cross for us and has transformed the life of the wilderness into a life of provision.

A colleague of mine always says, “Where God guides, God provides.” I’ve heard countless stories of wrong turns leading to opportunities for service, a loss leading to new life, a tragedy motivating great change. I don’t know why we find ourselves in “Why me?” situations, stressin’ in the wilderness, but when we do our identity as people of God is shaped and defined. As people of God we are called to trust that God will provide and we are called to honor rest. This is unusual behavior. It is what marks us as followers of God. But don’t worry, you can still have a good cry of woe, God is listening and he does respond, with grace.

No Regrets, July 26, 2009

2009-09-05T12:28:00.001-07:00

This is a message I'm sharing with a community along Highway 212 where hundreds of Minnesotans lined the highway holding American flags as a convoy escorting a hearse carrying the body of SPC. James Wertish toward his home in rural Olivia. Hector is my hometown. Readings are from the New Testament in the Bible: John 6:1-21 & Ephesians 3:14-21.

Many people who followed Jesus up that mountain probably didn’t have a lot going for them. They were free to hike nine miles in Upper Galilee to see an itinerant preacher and sit in the grass. They were loners who lacked community, isolated individuals who needed to belong to someone, something, somewhere. There they were fed. I’m a big fan of everyday miracles. In this story I see the miraculous in that these disconnected, lonely lives sat down together and began to share. They discovered a joy and fulfillment that comes from knowing that you belong to each other.

This week Hector and other towns along Highway 212 experienced an everyday miracle as 100s of people lined up along the highway, waving flags, and welcoming home a fallen soldier. Many did not know SPC. James Wertish, but you were present for him, for his family, and for your community to grieve together and be a part of a deeper connection, the act of belonging to each other. After watching the video and reading articles about the event I was struck by the words of Paul in Ephesians 3:14-21 with new meaning. Here is a loose translation of how I read his prayer:
I fall down on my knees and pray your inward person be renewed day by day through the wear and tear of life’s challenges and tribulations.

So often the realities of life’s unfairness, tragedy, and chaos wear us down. Like Philip, who is asked how to feed the 5000, we see a hopeless task. Or, like Andrew, we scavenge to do our best and admit it’s not enough. These two disciples display the heartbreaking blend of hopelessness and frustration that comes with facing situations beyond our resources and control, situations that bring us to our knees in prayer or despair.

When we are convinced that things are hopeless it is difficult to set our mind on thinking of solutions. We just want to curl up under the covers and disappear for a while. My personal red flag is when I notice myself saying, “What’s the point?” That’s when I know; I’ve given up and closed my mind to possibilities. I recognize hopeless thinking to be a sign that something big needs to change in my life. That’s not easy. It’s a call for a shift in perspective. Feeling hopeless is a call for hope.
Such a shift in perspective occurs in our story from John 6. Jesus hears the words of Philip and Andrew, he feels their pain, and with a knowing look does something crazy. He takes what little they have, blesses it and trusts completely that the people will be fed, and they are. They are not only fed they are fed to a sensation of ultimate fullness with fragments to be gathered. How did that happen? I don’t know. What I do know is that this was a powerful experience of community, faith, and hope. It was a miracle by being a shift in perspective; just like that line of flags on Highway 212 was a miracle, shifting isolated grief for one family into communal grief for a whole county.

Following this powerful event, Jesus returns to the mountaintop to be alone. In the other gospels this time away is due to grief as he learned his cousin, John the Baptist, had been beheaded. We can only assume for this text that such grieving drove him into a time of prayer and escape from the crowds. While away the disciples struggle to cross the waters in a terrible storm. Notice that in this text, the storm is not stilled. You see, God can be present and reveal God’s glory in the midst of the storm. If the storms of your reality are blowing hard and you’re filled with fear, hopelessness, or grief divine presence is still with you. You don’t have to wait for the trials of life to calm down before you can get God.

I think that’s what Paul was leaning toward when he prayed in Ephesians 3. He wanted us to understand that we need to be renewed day by day and that renewal is an inner transformation. He speaks of Christ dwelling in our hearts. Dwelling meant to take permanent residence, not just a temporary lease. And the heart referred to our inner being, not just our emotions, but our mind and spirit, the things that make us who we are. Allowing Jesus to sustain us, transform us, encourage us, and strengthen us to the depths of our beings is what he’s praying for. Then he concludes that we should share this knowledge in one, undivided community. It is hard to imagine in our world of war, isolation, and division this “oneness” that Paul addresses again and again in the Letter to Ephesus. Yet, we just experienced it this week. One community of strangers united for one reason, to grieve as one for a young man whose favorite saying was, “No regrets.”

“No regrets” is an attitude that lives through tragedies, grows strong with trials, sees the calm after the storm, and knows the end is a new place yet to be explored. “No regrets” is to face the hopelessness with a look of hope. May we come to the table and receive the bread of life with no regrets. Then go forward in confidence to be the bread of life for others, with no regrets.

Facing the Man in the Mirror or Off with His Head - Mark 6:14-29

2009-07-11T21:45:00.001-07:00

This is a message I gave at Spirit Garage on July 12, 2009. The scripture is the story of the Beheading of John the Baptist. I address Responsible Power - Speaking the Truth to Ourselves. Songs sung that morning included: "What I've Done" by Linkin Park and "Come On Up to the House" by Tom Waits. Gotta admit my old Evangelical United Brethren roots are showing. :)

Herod was a haunted man. When Jesus’ fame began to spread throughout the land, people compared him to all the great prophets. But for Herod, Jesus was the mistake that haunted him and some say, cursed him, the rest of his life. He thought Jesus was John the Baptist return from the dead.

Now it’s important to understand the deep dysfunction of Herod’s family, to understand the paradox of a man like him caring enough to be haunted by one man’s death at all. Herod Antipas was the son of Herod the Great who was a very cruel, insecure ruler. Herod the Great is the one who ordered the death of all the children under the age of 2 years in Bethlehem when Jesus was born. It was a popular saying in his time, “It was better to be Herod’s pigs than his sons.” As a Jew, Herod would not eat his pigs, but he did kill most of his sons if they threatened his rule in any way. The few who were left, including Philip and Herod Antipas, were all conniving, sniveling, people-pleasing, weak rulers who were bent on not only robbing the scraps from Rome but from each other.

Herod Antipas was married to an Arabian princess. When he went to visit his half-brother, Philip, in Rome he seduced Philip’s wife Herodias. Herodias was the niece of Philip and Herod Antipas. Her father was their half-brother, whom Herod the Great had assassinated. Herodias agreed to leave her husband, take her daughter Salome, and move in with Herod Antipas. Herod Antipas made the plan to divorce his wife when he returned. His wife found out and told him she was going on a holiday, which was really an escape back to her father’s kingdom where she told daddy what her husband had done. This made the Arabian king very mad and so he saw this as an opportunity to resolve some of the border issues he’d been having with Herod anyway. Eventually a war occurred between the two territories and Herod lost badly. This is where the curse of John the Baptist comes into play. It was popular folklore that the defeat of Herod was retribution for the meaningless beheading of John the Baptist.

So why did Herod imprison John the Baptist in the first place? By shaming the king with the truth about his affair with Herodias, who was both his sister-in-law and niece, John inadvertently aligned himself with Herod’s enemy, the Arabian king. Imprisoning John was a political move to shut him up before he riled up the masses. On the other hand, Herodias took things more personally. She felt the best way to shut up a prophet is to cut off his head but she couldn’t because Herod liked John and protected him. Maybe he did this because John’s honest truth-telling was a virtue Herod never knew and lacked the character to possess. It perplexed him.

If this story isn’t twisted enough, in dances the young step-daughter who gives a “pleasing” performance on Herod’s birthday. Historical records say the girls’ name is Salome and she was probably14years old or younger at this time, so it is hard to say how provocative this dance really was. Nonetheless for a princess to perform a public dance was quite unheard of. When Herod promises her anything she wants, even half his kingdom he is blowing his ego up a bit. Herod didn’t really have that kind of power to give because he was a symbolic puppet ruler for Rome. To give half your kingdom was a figurative saying that was used another time in the Bible. The biblical book of Esther tells of another royal banquet, a drunken king making a vow to a beautiful young woman, promising her up to half his kingdom. Beautiful Esther uses this opportunity to save her people and stop the acting out of a decree to destroy, kill and annihilate all the Jews. On the other hand, Salome runs to her mother who uses the opportunity to harm John the Baptist and please her appetite for revenge, a dish best served cold and on a platter. I imagine a little girl in awe of this royal banquet, with vulgar sweetness, skipping with excitement and her own embellishments to pronounce “I want the head of John the Baptist, on a platter.” I wonder how she responded when she was handed the head on a platter. Did this image haunt her like it haunted her step-father?

The topic for this morning is responsible power. Power is the ability to effect change or exert control over either things or people, subjects or objects. Herod is haunted by his exertion of power to destroy John. John is a prophet which means truth-teller. He told the truth to power and lost his head. What do we lose or gain when we speak the truth? Next week, Pastor Rob will address responsible power in relationship to society and justice. But I feel one cannot speak the truth to power socially until one has faced their internal power. I’m talking about facing the man in the mirror.

I was watching a news show this week that interviewed a psychologist with a theory about Michael Jackson’s numerous plastic surgeries. A photo of Michael Jackson when he was younger was aged and the result was the spitting image of his father, who had been quite abusive and pushed his career. The psychologist posed that when MJ looked in the mirror he saw his father and hated the image in the mirror so much, he wanted to change what he saw literally. When you look in the mirror, what truth about yourself, what weakness, what hidden fault do you want to erase from sight?

Who wants to face their own ugliness? Who wants to admit the messes they’ve made? We have the power of choice and like Esther or Salome; we can choose that which helps or that which harms ourselves and others. It is overwhelming to admit we are a mess and it can feel that no one, let alone God, will want us if they knew the truth. We set impossibly frustrating expectations to get our acts cleaned up and to stop feeling like “damaged goods” before receiving the love intended for us. When we’re good “God material” then we’ll get spiritual. This usually leads to quiet hopelessness and practices to drown out the nagging feeling we’re missing something with alcohol or work or responsibilities. On top of that we can manipulate the truth into unrecognizable creations, like Michael Jackson’s face, but in the end it’s still you and until you accept yourself and your mistakes as forgivable, let alone lovable, you will live as a victim of self-imposed crucifixion. Get down off that cross and use that wood for some good. There is no shame and humiliation greater than the cross of Jesus. It’s all been done for you. You don’t need to crucify yourself or become your own personal savior. Stop waiting to get pretty for God. Jesus is attracted to the unattractive.

Here’s more good news, we are forgiven then we can repent. Repentance literally means “turn around,” or “walk a new path.” In the Roman Empire, when an emperor died and a new one took his place, the word went out to all the Roman legions “Repent and believe in the new emperor!” The Gospel writers utilized this popular saying to mean “turn from the path you are on and align yourself with God!” (Bethlehem Lutheran Church, 7-5-2009) Repentance is a transformative choice about where you will invest your energy and focus in life.

Forgiveness enabling repentance is one of the great paradoxes of our faith. The honesty of facing the truth about yourself leaves you vulnerable, needy and exposed. You are loved and embraced in that moment. You are forgivable. You don’t have to wait to clean up the damage before you come to God because God’s here already and knows full well what you’ve done. You have the power wallow in what you’ve done or make a change. So, come on up to the house and join the holy truth-tellers party. We’re a raucous bunch and can sometimes lose our heads, but everyone’s welcome.

Give Her Something To Eat

2009-06-27T18:49:00.000-07:00

Sermon based on Lamentations 3:22, Psalm 30, & Mark 5:21-43.

Today's readings speak to the presence of God in our experiences of change and crises. Lamentations assures us that God has unbreakable devotion. Lamentations 3:22 says "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end." The word for "mercy" is based on the Hebrew word for "womb." The poet is conferring an image of God's love and mercy being so devout and connected to us it is like the unique love shared by a woman and her child int he womb. In deepest despair, crises, and confusion, God is fully present. God is eager to lead us toward wholeness and renewed hope in the midst of our grief. There is an assurance to keep the faith despite the drear of reality.

But our message goes beyond divine assurance. Psalm 30 also says God is present in our joy and in our trouble. Then, it leads us a step further from God's assurance to our response of gratitude. Theologian Walter Bruggemann proposes a cycle of orientation, disorientation, and new orientation in the psalm (The Message of the Psalms: A Theological Commentary, Minneapolis: Augsburg, 1984, p127).
Psalm 30 illustrates an orientation of having confidence in human achievement that is trashed by troubles and crises causing disorientation, followed by a new orientation of gratitude for being delivered from that state of unrest. Listen for this cycle in verse 6, 7, 11, and 12.

6While I felt secure, I said, "I shall never be disturbed. You LORD, with your favor, made me as strong as the mountains." 7Then you hid your face, and I was filled with fear...11You have turned my wailing into dancing; you have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with you. 12Therefore my heart sings to you without ceasing; O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever.

Divine assurance and the cycle of orientation, disorientation, and new orientation are the formula that makes the backdrop for today's Gospel story in Mark 5:21-43. Here we meet characters of desperation reaching out for their last chance, named Jesus. Jairus had to be desperate. He was a leader in the synagogue, a well-respected man, whose peers most likely considered Jesus to be at least, an irritant, at most, an enemy. Why did he go to ask for Jesus' help in person, at risk of missing his precious daughter's last moments? Was it because his friends wouldn't help him in this crazy plot? It was common for children to die yound during ancient times, therefore parents tried not to form a great emotional attachment to their children. What sort of man was Jairus that he would risk political suicide to save his child, who was of all things a daughter during a time when sons were valued more? Can you imagine the anguish, the fear, the swallowing of pride he must have experienced to take this leap of faith and trust a strange healer named Jesus? Yet he did take that leap of faith and Jesus followed him to his home with a huge crowd of paprazzi swallowing in on him.

In the midst of the crowd is another character of desperation, the woman who had hemorrhaged for 12 years, the entire lifetime of Jairus' dying daughter. In Jewish tradition blood represents life. To touch the bleeding or the dead was to make one's self unclean. Therefore, this woman had lived a life of isolation and taboo. She was an outsider who broke good order by entering the crowd and touching Jesus' clothes. She disoriented the way things are supposed to be and interrupted the mission. In a sense, we are not unlike this woman. Many of us feel like the life is bleeding out of us due to being overcommitted, having our priorities in chaos, and living off fumes of energy because we haven't the time to refuel. She was losing her life every day. She tried everything she could think of to cure herself but nothing worked. It was in her state of total disorientation and desperation that she reached out and received healing. Yet Jesus did not let this transformation go unnoticed. He stopped. He gave her recognition and acknowledgement. He gave her new life. What would happen if we stopped and surrendered the things that are draining our lives? What new orientation toward life might be possible with Christ?

But maybe your life isn't oozing out of you. Maybe you are desperate because the one's you love are making life choices that are killing their spirits. Maybe you are more like Jairus, the desperate father. Can you imagine how frieghtened and impatient he must feel at this moment? Who is this Jesus? How dare he stop for an outcast woman when I need him now? Talk about a terrible political move. I doubt Jairus felt much favor for Jesus, especially when he hears his daughter is dead. His friends try to talk him out of this crazy idea telling him it's too late. But Jesus disregards this news. In fact his reaction to the news is like a line from the gospel tune, "God may not come when you call him, but he'll be there right on time!" Jesus disregards all common sense and does the non-sensical. He tells the mourners that the child is sleeping and kicks everybody out but the parents and three disciples. Such actions would earn me an "F" in pastoral care.

I am amazed by how God won't fit into our boxes of who God is and how God should behave. Jesus is a religious leader, prohibited from touching the dead, yet he taks the girl's hand and tells her to get up. Then she does just that. She arises to a new life. Think about it, no matter how dead you may feel to your life, to your faith, to your community, God is willing to reach out and touch you, with no regard to how untouchable, unworthy, or unloved you may feel. In fact if I were to create a bumper sticker for the book of Mark it would read, "I love you, whether you like it or not. - God"

With all the joy of new life and healing you would think this is the end of the story, but it is the last verse which encapsulated the third point of today's lesson in the experience of God during times of change and crises. After Jesus makes everyone swear not to talk about what has happened, probably because it was not time yet, he requests food for the girl. "Give her something to eat."

For some reason, that statement felt a bit odd. Some commentators say it was made to prove she really was alive and not a spirit because spirits can't eat. Others say eating with the family marked the girl's re-incorporation into her family and the community. But I have my own theory. Being fed is what comes next in the experience of healing and renewed life. We need to be nourished as we live in the assurance of God's steadfast love and live out the cycles of change. Our nourishment can come through connecting with community, prayer, worship, and service to others. To be fed is to live out the life of one who is loved and marked as a child of God.

So here is your bumper sticker for the day: God loves you, whether you like it or not, so now act like it.

Living a Weed Life

2009-06-13T13:32:00.000-07:00

Here is a message I wrote for supply preaching I'm providing. Never thought much about weeds.

Over the years I have heard the stories of Jesus' parables, like Mark 4:30-32, and thought nothing of them. However, I am aware that a parable is a teaching tool that presents a dilemma to grapple with. They are supposed to make us squirm and have shock value. So I am perplexed as to what is disturbing about the kingdom of God being like planting a tiny mustard seed that grows into a great bush, which shelters the birds of the air. That's not shocking. Obviously this text lacks relevance to a postmodern world. Or does it?

Did you know that the mustard bush was considered an out-of-control, pungent weed one would never intentionally plant? In fact, according to ancient Greek and Jewish gardening manuals, mustard was to be kept separate from other plants because it took over the garden. It was a common plant that could grow to a height of six feet or more. Mustard is an aggressive, undesirable weed. It takes over where it is not wanted, gets out of control, and attracts birds into areas being cultivated for particular crops farmers didn't want the birds eating up. So Jesus is saying that God's rule is like an idiot planting a weed that is invasive, impossible to remove, prolific beyond measure, taking over where it is not wanted and providing a home for pesky birds. In other words, the Kingdom of God is like a lawn of dandelions and crab grass. So, now are you feeling some parabolic shock?

Someone once said a weed is just a flower that is a victim of prejudice. Well yes, weeds are plants, and usually a plant that is growing eagerly with great ease in a place it is not supposed to be in. It is out of good order. I remember an example of this from walking the bean fields when I was a kid, hoeing weeds. I remember pulling corn stalks that were the previous year's crop in the current bean field. It always struck me as funny that one year's crop was next year's weed. Maybe weeds are just a matter of perspective.

From what I've come to know about God's ways, being asked to live a weed's life makes perfect sense. God is an extravagant giver of grace and love to those who don't earn it or deserve it. God repeatedly chooses the youngest, the weakest, and the lowest to become the greatest of leaders and prophets. There are stories upon stories in the Bible of God thinking outside the expected God box. Again and again, as we expect God to be remote, dignified, rational and predictable, we get the wild, extravagant, uncontrollable experience of a personal creator, radical savior, and irrational spirit.

God won't fit in our box of judgments and predictabilities and that is an unsettling thought. Deep down there is an innate fear of letting go of the control we suppose ourselves to have. The truth, we try to plan and plant a perfect garden life, but we can't control the frost or drought or rabbits from invading and disrupting our perfect plans. Nor do we win the battle against those invasive weeds with plans of their own. Could it be that living life in God's rule means we don't have control over how perfect our life is going to look to the rest of the world? It may mean looking like a weed, a cornstalk in a field of beans.

Another aspect of this parable's challenge for us and our control is the common interpretation that it is about smallness, in little steps and small hopes progressing on a path that leads to greatness. This parable is a testimony to the power of our focus and faith. Just as this is a testimony to the power of God's rule in our lives it can be a testimony to that which we would be more apt to call weeds, the things that choke us and suffocate our ability to love and live life abundantly. What small, insignificant thing are you focusing on and putting your faith in?

When we worry and fill our minds and hearts with anxiety, frustration, and fear of failure, we open ourselves to be changed in ways that hold us back and keep us from experiencing the abundant grace God offers. Now imagine making one very tiny attempt to pray about your fear, to plant a seed of hope even though all looks absolutely hopeless and you're not really sure you believe anything good could possibly come of your bad. It's just a tiny seed of a weed covered by cemented perfectionism, estrangement from God, loneliness, addiction, grief, or worry. Then let it be and see that hopeful weed find its way to grow through the tiniest of cracks. It is uncontrolled growth, passion beyond common sense, invasive love and grace for you and for me. It's a personal Creator who sees the pain of her creation and pays the debt himself. Imagine a tiny seed of faith leaving a pile of broken cement at the foot of a cross.

I know it is shocking to think of God's rule being like a weed. The traditional thought is found in our text from Ezekiel this morning. The Kingdom of God is like a mighty cedar tree. Isn't that more what we expect? We want a strong, tall, mighty God life to depend on. But here's a thought. How do you get rid of a cedar tree? You cut it down. The cedar is easy to fall and they never re-grow from the stump. Now how do you get rid of a weed? Yes, a shot of Weed-be-Gone works for a year, but what about the next year? There's always another weed. They just keep coming back.

You know that actually gives me comfort. Jesus may not be offering a l ife of mighty power and greatness like the cedar, but he is offering a life that lasts and keeps coming back no matter what we do to keep God out. Always there is a God of forgiveness, love, shelter and shade when we tire of our weary lives. So when you feel willing to surrender and take a rest from being in control, consider these words of assurance, "Come all ye who are weary and I shall give you rest. Oh and by the way, I'm not going away."

Not Justus...Acts 1:15-17; 21-26

2009-05-23T17:32:00.000-07:00

This week was reality TV competitions’ season finales. I was a fan of American Idol and enjoyed Tuesday’s singing dual between Adam Lambert the glam rocker and Chris Allen the acoustic rocker. America voted and Adam is NOT the next American Idol.

In the scripture today we hear a story about the disciple’s reality competition for who would be the next 12th disciple. Prior to this moment Judas, of the original 12, had betrayed Jesus and was now dead. Jesus had risen and had stayed with all the disciples, men and women not just the 12, for forty days to help them understand “by many convincing proofs” that he was alive, real, and death could not hold him. At the end of the 40 days Luke tells us of his Ascension, that he is lifted up to the heavens. At that time, Jesus provides his followers with reassurance: “You will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you and you will be my witnesses…to the ends of the earth.” (Acts 1:8) Ten days later the Spirit descends from the heavens on Pentecost and anoints the disciples.

Sandwiched between these two mountain top experiences is a little church administrative business that needed taking care of. As a church administrative worker I get an extra kick out of this. You see there really is value in having good order and preparation for the future. Or at least Peter thought so. Peter steps up to remind all those gathered that they had to fill a gap and add an apostle to bring them back to the number 12, which was reflective of the 12 tribes of Israel. The candidates were required to not only be followers of Jesus, but to have been with him from the beginning of his public ministry, starting from John’s baptism right up to the recent Ascension. Amid the 120 gathered, two candidates were chosen. Verse 23 sets us up a bit to expect the election of Joseph called Barsabbas, called Justus and not Matthias because he seems to be the one better known and certainly chummier with folks. He had a nickname, like many of the 11 disciples did. Nonetheless, both were qualified, impassioned, and knew God’s purpose in their lives – to share the story of Jesus and the difference it made in their lives and the lives of others. So with prayers for God’s will to be done, for the great heart-knower to select the one who would replace Judas, Justus’ and Matthias’ names were carved in stone, placed in a container and shaken until one stone fell out. “And the lot fell on Matthias.” (Acts 1:26)

Somehow that sounds more ominous than being crowned the next American Idol. Not much is known about Matthias. There are speculations that he was a missionary to the Ethiopians, others that he stayed in Jerusalem witnessing to the power of the resurrected Christ in obviously quiet ways for we never hear another word about him again.

Nor do we ever hear about Justus again. No not JUSTICE, but JUSTUS. Here is an individual who had been there from the beginning. With all those nicknames he was probably a likeable fellow. Did he long to be part of the inner circle after all those years and trials? Of course he did. Anyone with his passion and devotion would have. But the lot was cast against him. That’s rough. It’s one thing to come in second when America votes, imagine being the one God didn’t choose. Have you ever done the work but not gotten what you thought you deserved. Or just had the odds against you? Your company lays off five people and you’re one of the five. You interview for a job and make it to the top two and are not chosen. After all the work, preparation, high hopes, the disappointment is mind-boggling. Justus may have had any of our very human responses to disappointment because Justus was “just us,” all of us who have thought they were on the right path only to have everything change and wondered “what’s up with that?”. He could have felt hurt, become critical, or let his pride hold him back from living out his passion to witness and minister. Because we never hear another word about Justus, and Luke was known to report the flaws of Christ’s followers, I’m guessing he didn’t behave badly. Maybe he just bounced back, giving Matthias a big hug and saying “I’ll support you in every way, brother.” Whether Justus had a new title and became part of the elite 12 or not, he still knew who he was and what God had placed in his heart to do. With or without a title, Justus would be a disciple of Jesus Christ and a witness to a life-changing story. He was a servant of God.

I thought about that idea of knowing your heart’s desire and making the decision to act upon it when I was watching American Idol. At the beginning of the season you encounter plenty of contestants who are, shall we say misdirected. As the season comes to a close you can discern that whether a finalist won Idol or not, they each knew they were musicians and entertainers and would keep being that with or without a title. Yet discerning our path in life is not always so clear. We use the best decision-making process we know when discerning our purpose in life and why we are here. Often times it is much later before we see the hand of God at work in matters. In Acts 1:24 the disciples pray “You Lord, who know the hearts of all…” Cardiognostis is the Greek word to be exact. It means “heart-knower.” They set an example for us when seeking to understand the desires of our hearts, the direction or next steps for our lives. They prayed to the great “heart-knower.” Yet, God just doesn’t whisper in your ear, not even for the 11 disciples of Christ and they were pretty tight with the Father. We don’t always know at that moment whether God is in what we’re doing or what we decide. As I read about this story in Acts I discovered an ongoing argument about whether the disciple’s made the right choice in their decision-making process for seeking a 12th disciple. Some say the disciples chose Matthias, but God chose Paul, the last guy in the world to be considered for the position. Maybe that’s why we never hear another word about Matthias. He was no Paul. The disciples did the best they could in discerning God’s will, just as we do. We choose, we decide, and we act and we do so in confidence.

Yes, bold decision-making is a funny thing about being a follower of God. You see, we can pray and pray for God’s specific will to be known, and sometimes have our prayers answered, and sometimes not know with any certainty what path to take. But as Martin Luther advised, we will have to choose boldly our path, knowing that God’s forgiving love will sustain us in the midst of our messy lives and our many decisions. Our bad decisions do not separate us from God.

It’s hard to know the will of God, to be certain we are on the right path, to understand the desires of our hearts being unfulfilled and the work we do going unrewarded. Take action anyway, make decisions anyway for the great heart-knower is listening. Every act made in faith to love God and your neighbor, every decision made in rest, reflection, and prayer is cast in the framework of God’s will with the promise of Christ’s compassion.

No Word for Goodbye

2009-01-29T21:05:00.000-08:00

Thursday, January 29
I began today with a small group determined to finish our projects at the worksite. I am quite sore from laying flooring, but satisfied with the results. Our guest for lunch was Pinky Clifford, a store owner who has followed her passion and hope in providing native housing through Partnership for Housing. http://friendsofpineridgereservation.org/organizations/OST-Partnership-for-Housing-Inc.shtml
Her energy and hope was inspiring.

A couple classmates and I walked to a Native owned gas station for ice cream and then to Higher Ground for some good coffee. Somehow the afternoon passed by and it was time for Children's hour. It was sad to realize we wouldn't see these kids again. They grew on us, what can I say.

The evening included dinner with Asa and Tresita Wilson and a closing communion service. Asa shared that there is no word for "goodbye" in Lakota. The closest word means "until we meet again or I will see you again." I have an idea this is not an end of my visits to Pine Ridge, but rather a beginning of future meeting again.

Tomorrow we leave at 6:00am for our homes. Pray for safe journeys.

Theology of the Cross at Pine Ridge

2009-01-28T22:02:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning with a sore throat. Since colds have been taking people down one by one, I was not thrilled. We met as a group to open conversation and process some of what we have experienced these two weeks. Then we were off to SuAnne Big Crow Boys and Girls Club.

SuAnne was a true leader. An athlete who averaged 39 points per basketball game, one of the top four scorers in SD history. SuAnne was killed in a car accident when she was 17 years old. Her family decided to carry on her legacy of promoting drug and alcohol free lifestyle, athletic fitness, and academic excellence by creating a safe place for kids. Check out the website. It's really an amazing story. I'm surprised there isn't a Disney movie yet.

Following lunch at HappyTown at SuAnne Big Crow Boys and Girls Club, there was time for a nap to take care of myself before Children's Hour. Today we had Children's Hour, worship, and supper. We took the kids to go feed the buffalo at a neighbor's ranch. Two white buffalo calves were born to this rancher and we heard the story of the White Buffalo Calf Woman.
Some folks fed the buffalo by hand and some dared to stick the buffalo food cube in their mouths and feed them by mouth. Um, I bypassed the Buffalo Kiss option. But I have some fun pictures.

Quickly after the kids returned home, we traveled to the Boys and Girls dorms at Pine Ridge school to celebrate winter birthdays. The evening concluded with a talking circle. Whew, that is a full day.

There are so many layers and facets to the socio-political-economic-s

piritual issues and topics here. Where does one begin? I've witnessed hope rise out of tragedy in the story of SuAnne Big Crow. I've heard vision and hope in the story of White Buffalo Calf Woman bringing the prayer pipe, 7 religious rites, and the medicine wheel. I've tried to find Christ in culture and seen a Lakota Jesus in the Stations of the Cross. Now, since I am a Lutheran, it's time to talk about Theology of the Cross.

According to an article by Gerhard Forde, Theology of the Cross "is a particular perception of the world and our destiny, what Luther came to call looking at all things through suffering and the cross. It has to do with what he referred to often as the question of usus, the way the cross is put to use in our lives."

Deaths of someone you know is a common occurrence here. Children from little on attend wakes. Sometimes there is a Christian burial, someones traditional, and sometimes both. The shadow of Wounded Knee weighs like a heavy blanket over all vision for the future. I see the cross, the place of death, the place of revelation and truth-telling here. I see true humanity revealed in those who live there lives to be role models and visionaries and those who are angry, bitter, and suffocating.

Robert Kolb writes in his article on theology of the cross "The cross reminds us that “ ‘we live on borrowed time’—time lent us by the Creator.Yet we also see in the death of Jesus on the cross our rebellion against that life, and we note that there is absolutely no way out now except one. God vindicated the crucified Jesus by raising him from the dead. So the question and the hope come to us.‘If we die with him, shall we not also live with him?’ In the cross we recognize not only the awful truth but also the wonderful truth about ourselves."

The truth is we are children of God capable of love, peace and joy, plagued by evil, injustice, and oppression. The truth is God reveals himself as a person of love and mercy in the midst of our tragedies. When we question human value and worth, the economics of God are irrational and radical for they come in the death of what we value most so that we can experience a revelation beyond our conception. The Lakota way is to know that all things happen for a reason. If one were to judge human life from the basis of God's presence in human life and God's love for creation, we might find all things happen for a reason to be a relevant cross-view.

Theology Lakota Style

2009-01-27T23:31:00.000-08:00

Today we accomplished a lot of work laying flooring. A classmate and I went to Higher Ground Coffee House for some gourmet coffee. This is a Lakota run business and Christian ministry. We spent a few hours visiting with the owner. Now I can say I've heard a full circle of opinions concerning culture and religion this week for I have heard those who say Lakota spirituality and Christianity should be separate and those who strive for balance and integration.

After children's hour, we shared a meal of Indian Tacos with Pastor Asa & Tresita Wilson and Kelly & Suzie Looking Horse. Following the meal we made dream catchers. http://www.wldwind.com/lhorse.htm

Today I thought a lot about the words and concepts I've been hearing. Language is a great pathway for understanding a culture. This week I have prayed often in words I did not understand. I have heard cultural theology explained and wondered how to integrate Christ and culture. Yesterday when we visited Red Cloud School, we toured Holy Rosary chapel. The tour guide explained how their philosophy is to balance one's Catholicism/Christianity with one's Lakota identity. An example was the artwork for the Stations of the Cross. Three artists created paintings in which Jesus was Lakota and the soldiers were portrayed as Calvary or Crow, who were both historical enemies.

The words I've heard this week were Lakota of the L dialect. However, I grew up in Dakota territory, which is the D dialect. In Canada one would meet Nakota who speak the N dialect. Even dialects can create differences in culture and understandings of tradition.

So what about Lakota Theology? I found a website that listed a few terms or concepts in catechetical terms that I've heard this week that illustrate the complexities of belief. http://www.bluecloud.org/41.html

1. WAKAN -- Sacred, Holy

Wakantanka -- wicasa wakan -- sunka wakan
People are wakan -- and some places too
Other words: Unktomi, Witko denote kinds of spirits.

2. Creation -- starts in Black Hills

3. Sin -- Moon was unfaithful, so she must again and again cover her face.

4. Prayer -- Hambleciya -- Prayer stones

5. Penance -- Sweat Bath -- Sun Dance.

6. Community -- Oyate -- Tiyospaye.

7. Priesthood -- Wicasawakan -- had much Wasagiya

8. Worship -- Sacred Pipe

Flags at the Sacred Spot: (Four colors of the Medicine Wheel)

West --- Black -- Confrontation -- War
North -- Red ---- Control ----------- Law
East ---- White -- Renewal ---------- Spirit
South -- Yellow - Quiet ------------- Unity

9. After life -- No Hell -- Life -- Eating with the dead (Preparing and sharing a meal with all at a funeral)

Around the turn of the century Native American education was established to "kill the Indian, save the man." The culture was kept alive through an underground effort. Like an honorable warrior, this culture bears its scars with humility.
Personally, I am nobody. I am a sinner who falls down and gets back up. But, I do believe in a Christ who frees the oppressed, who liberates the bound, who befriends the outsider. So if Jesus is alive anywhere, why not here?

Red Cloud Indian School

2009-01-26T22:42:00.001-08:00

Monday, January 26

A few of us went to the work site this morning and I continued to help with laying flooring. It was cold, very cold. After about three hours we joined the rest of the group (a few folks have had bad colds to deal with) and received a tour of Red Cloud School and Heritage Center.The museum was amazing and I would love to visit in the summer for the art show. Over 600 students attend from miles away and the school is known for its record in academic excellence.

When we returned the the retreat center, I was exhausted and ended up napping through childrens' time. Our evening was free and we traveled into Nebraska to go out for supper. It was nice to have an evening of silliness in the midst of all this cause for reflection. I'm afraid the well of deep thoughts is feeling rather shallow tonight. I think rest deserve more respect so that is my plan. Tomorrow calls for more work and more learning. So blessings and good night.

Come Together and Woyatan

2009-01-25T22:20:00.000-08:00

Through the flurries of snow we attend two worship services this Sunday. First we traveled to Oglala for worship at Makasan Presbyterian church. Due to the weather there were few in attendance. We sang hymns from the Dakota hymnal, which includes a collection of familiar hymns translated into Lakota. Louis Garcia writes in the article "The History of Customs of the Spirit Lake Dakota" an interesting story about the translation of hymns into Dakota and Ojibwe since the 1840's.

"This is the setting for our story.

A single wakeya (conical tent made of hides) was situated deep in the woods. The husband and perhaps the oldest son were off hunting. As was the custom they would not return home until they harvested some animal for food. Only the faithful wife and children were home. At dusk as they huddled around the small fire within the tent, the wife heard some thing outside. Not wanting to alarm the children she said nothing, but listened intently. Then to her horror she saw from the corner of her eye, a hand, with only its fingernails visible, slightly open the tent door to peek inside. It was their dreaded enemy the Hahatonwan Oyate, the Waterfall People, known today as the Ojibway or Chippewa. What was she to do? The men were not there, she had no defense, and could do nothing. The Ojibway would shortly kill them all and take their scalps. So she prayed to God, the God the missionaries told them about. “What ever you ask of God, he will grant”, the missionaries said. Then she prayed and began to sing the Dakota words to the hymn Bethany. Fortunately the Ojibway warriors outside recognized the tune of the hymn and added their voices, but in their language. The trees reverberated with the sound of the hymn. The tent door was pushed to the side and a warrior entered and shook hands with the jittery occupants. The woman invited the men into her home and they shared a meal together. The Dakota family was saved from destruction and two former enemies were made friends, all because of a hymn."

Following lunch at Makasan, we traveled to Rapid City for an Epiphany worship at Woyatan Lutheran Church, a multi-cultural ministry. The worship service began and ended with the drum group drumming and singing in Lakota as traditional dancers danced toward the altar, followed by the crucifix, acolyte, and pastoral worship leaders. It was quite a display of mingling culture and traditions.

As I reflect on the mission of multi-cultural ministry I imagine a coming together. The image of a sanctuary for peace, dialogue, and connection come to mind. I asked someone what "Woyatan" means and received two answers. One said it means "praise." Another said, "It means to praise God through humble service for others." Now that sounds like my impression of woyatan's theology and a theology for all of us. Come together and Woyatan.

Buffalo Grace

2009-01-24T17:59:00.000-08:00

Saturday, January 24

It was a very early morning today. A group of six took advantage of our day off to tour South Dakota. We headed to Crazy Horse, drove by Mt Rushmore, and ate a huge lunch in Rapid City. On the way to Crazy Horse we were surrounded by a herd of buffalo. One bull was next to my window and he was taller than the van. The thought, "We're goners." did cross my mind as they bowed heads and trotted toward the van. Turns out they just wanted to lick the van and passed on by. Unfortunately I have no pictures.

There is a snowstorm outside so we have canceled our trip to an evening pow wow. It's cold and windy today. Most of us are downright exhausted and plan to watch the movie National Treasure 2. It seemed fitting since we just visited the Black Hills.

Have you ever seen a buffalo up close? They truly are majestic animals.
I remembered an image I saw yesterday of the destruction and hunting of buffalo in the 1800s. I thought about the sin against these animals that was committed in the past.

Martin Luther posed a theology that we are both saint and sinner simultaneously. That I sin and am inclined to self and not God AND that I am created in the image of God. I love the comments Sarcastic Lutheran makes in her blog about this topic.

Sometimes friends criticize how Christianity is like the proverbial gumball machine (see sarcastic lutheran blog). You confess and you are forgiven. So what's the cost, what's the big deal? Truth is that's just "cheap grace." Cheap grace is the grace we bestow on ourselves. Cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline, Communion without confession.... Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate. (Cost of Discipleship by Bonhoffer)

I don't want cheap grace for the reckless waste of sins against humanity and yes, even the buffalo. Give me true grace. May I come to God with knees bent and a true sense of needing that forgiveness. Let it be with cost and meaning. Costly grace is the gospel which must be sought again and again and again, the gift which must be asked for, the door at which a man must knock. Such grace is costly because it calls us to follow, and it is grace because it calls us to follow Jesus Christ. It is costly because it costs a man his life, and it is grace because it gives a man the only true life. It is costly because it condemns sin, and grace because it justifies the sinner. (Cost of Discipleship by Bonhoffer)

Today, I was thankful for some Buffalo Grace.

Land Treaties Dust to Dust

2009-01-23T22:17:00.000-08:00

Friday, January 23

After a week of spring with temperatures in the 60s, I awoke to snow and a temperature of 14 degrees with a bitter prairie wind. I drove the van this gray day to Kyle, SD where we visited Lakota Funds http://www.lakotafunds.org/ and Lakota College http://www.olc.edu/
We drove to Betty's Kitchen for lunch. This restaurant is literally in Betty's Kitchen! I've been listening to KILI radio while here. You can stream it online so check it out - http://www.kiliradio.org/

When we returned to the retreat center I helped pick up kids for children's hour. I drove all over Pine Ridge and came to dread those treacherous speed bumps. Let's just say you'd better slow down or say goodbye to rear suspension.

It's been a long day. We had the evening off to do what we wanted. Tomorrow I head to the Black Hills, the birthplace of the Lakota people, the holy lands so to say. Only these holy lands have long been taken from their chosen people. Today, I looked at three maps based on three treaties that the U.S. government made with Lakota people about the designation of tribal lands. http://puffin.creighton.edu/lakota/index_treaties.html It shrunk dramatically when gold was discovered in the Black Hills. Greed over land is such a painful sin. It is so wasteful.

I keep thinking about Leo Tolstoy's story "How Much Land Does a Man Need?" A man who is desperately land-hungry makes a bet for a lower price that he can have all the land he can walk from sunrise to sunset as long as he returns to the spot he began at. He walks and walks trying to attain more and more only to realize his mistake too late and makes a mad dash for the starting point. He makes it just as the sun sets and everyone cheers while the man drops dead from exhaustion. They bury him in an ordinary grave, only six feet long. Thus answering the question.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. What are we doing in between?

Knees Who Hurt at Wounded Knee

2009-01-23T21:18:00.002-08:00

Thursday, January 22

I woke up late with a half hour to get ready. I rushed out to the building site and spent three hours laying flooring. My knees were killing me, but I enjoyed the activity after feeling pent up. As I've written before it isn't very safe to go for a walk. We returned to the retreat center for a quick lunch while "street people" knocked on the door for a sandwich. We serve every day for lunch and there is always someone knocking at the door here.

After piling into vans we sped off to Wounded Knee, where Kelly Looking Horse gave a presentation. Some folks are not in favor of white people hanging out at the grave site and fear we might be disrespectful. So we quickly prayed with tobacco, observed the site with honor, and heard the stories told. But not without the police driving by to check it out. No problem, just another day at the rez.

We made it back just in time for children's hour, which was a lively time of about 20 kids. Kelly and Suzie Looking Horse were our guests for supper and talked openly about the economic and social realities around here, as well as dreams for change. We sang songs and learned to dance the round dance, snake dance, veteran's honor dance, and men's sneak up. It was an evening of laughs and silliness. I even yelled out a good "war whoop". Which Kelly teased sounded like a Crow. (haha a few of you will get the joke)

Earlier today I text that my knees hurt and now I'm going to Wounded Knee, which the recipient found quite funny. You know if someone knocks you down at the knees, life can be pretty painful. As I thought about the poverty, the constant door knocking, the inner city environment I'm living in this week I had the image of a person knocked down at the knees limping along life.

It hurt my heart to hear the story of Wounded Knee again. To hear of the mutilation of women, the savage trickery to draw children out of their hiding places and slaughter them, the proud soldiers standing over the dead like a hunter holding the horns of a prize elk. I remembered the story of the survivors who were taken to a Catholic church across town for medical care and mostly died. The massacre was a few days after Christmas and the banner in the church filled with dying elders, women and children read "Peace on Earth and Good Will Toward Men." The irony of what we proclaim and the sinful horror of what we are capable of doing in one simple image.

A classmate and I got in a discussion about 1st and 2nd use of the law. That's theology stuff. Basically, 1st use of the law if for "civil" or "political" use.The law works to compel civility through legal restraint and the threat of punishment.Basically, it is unlawful to kill, rape, massacre people because it's just not civil and you will be punished. The 2nd use of the law is "theological". The law not only sets up and enforces standards of civility but also accuses those who disobey it and thereby makes offenders aware of their
sin and consequent need for forgiveness. It's wrong to do those things, you're convicted for them, and now are aware of your wrongness. The only path to deal with this awareness is that of repentance and forgiveness. (Thank you Professor David Lose for a great paper on this.) http://www.luthersem.edu/word&world/Archives/21-3_The_Law/21-3_Lose.pdf

What conviction do you feel about the image of dying victims beneath a flapping banner proclaiming peace on earth and good will toward men...women...children? I feel the hopelessness of never attaining justification by the law, because it is in all of us to do harm, break civility, and cause terror. It is also in all of us to live mercy, practice forgiveness, and walk humbly with our God for these are the very things that make us the children of God, images of God, beloved. But I cannot achieve that justification by my own will, by seeking perfection, nor by doing what I think best. Those soldiers were defeating an enemy. Until recently Wounded Knee has been called a battle, not a massacre. It has been recorded as a great win for the US government, though today more of us may say it was a dark day of shame. For years people have thought this event was what was best. Was it? Really? A lot of mistakes have been made, some reconciliation has been attempted, but the path of forgiveness is one of returning and reclaiming honor by those who limp on wounded knees.

Judgment Interpreted

2009-01-23T21:18:00.001-08:00

Wednesday, January 21

Today we went to Red Shirt Table for a talk by Fr. Robert Two Bulls about Asampi Bleza, a relative who was killed in a skirmish with ranchers during the time of the Wounded Knee massacre. We met at an overlook with an amazing view of the badlands. We had lunch at the Episcopal church which included soup, fry bread, and Wojapi.
http://www.turtletrack.org/Issues00/Co04222000/CO_04222000_Wojapi.htm

Following lunch, we returned to the retreat center to host children's hour, followed by Wednesday children's worship, followed by children's supper - sloppy joes. The evening concluded watching the documentary "Incident at Ogalala" about the Wounded Knee 71 day siege in 1973 and the violence that occurred in the 1970s over the corruption in tribal government and the differences in traditionalists vs progressives.

Judgment was the stumbling block of the day. I remember a few years ago I participated in some training to heal ones' judgment. The exercise consisted of naming a judgment you have about someone. Then naming what you think that means about them. Then owning that judgment as a fear that means something about you. Finally forgiving yourself for making a mistake and believing an untruth. For example, say you have a judgment about someone with a tattoo. You think what that tattoo means about them is that they are rebellious. Then think about what rebelliousness you judge in yourself or fear being judged for. Finally forgive yourself for making a mistake and believing something untrue.

Deep, I know.

The point is that fear and insecurity are the foundations of judgment which can lead to prejudice, -isms, and violence. "Fear not" is an ongoing theme in the Bible. It is the essence of Christ. Fear not. I have come to give you abundant life. Don't buy into the themes of scarcity and lack, the fears of judgment and hopelessness. Yet tonight I sat with children who can't walk a few blocks to the retreat center for fear of gang violence. I can't go for a walk or hang out alone anywhere while I'm here for fear of violence and feel pent up. The elderly cannot exercise with walks to treat their diabetes for fear of gang violence. This county is the poorest county in the nation. Only Hurricane Katrina has knocked in down to second poorest. What an honor. Yet folks say, that's not poverty if you got what matters - family and our values, our traditions, our community.

I've participated in metaphysical thought for a long time. I've also been a student of the Bible and Christian faith. There is an age-old wisdom I've come to know in my studies and observed here in the midst of poverty and violence. It is in asking all to focus not on the fear but the hope. To laugh when you could cry, stand strong when you feel weak, and love when it would be so easy to hate. Oh, and traveling in groups always helps. :)

The Other Side of Me

2009-01-23T21:17:00.000-08:00

Tuesday, January 20

I awoke this morning with a shiver. I had gone to bed very late and did not know where the extra quilts were kept. Needless to say I slept with extra layers of clothing as exhaustion swept over me. We watched the inauguration of President Obama on a tv that had faded color. Only shades of red and blue appeared with any clarity. This made every screen shot to the American flag quite striking as all other images were ironically black and white. Following the inauguration we served sandwiches to those who knocked on the door and took a trip to the building site where we will provide some volunteer labor to build another retreat center. This activity was a bit of a surprise, but so be it. Then it was children's hour, an after-school program for providing a safe place for kids from 4-5pm. I played a lot of pool. Who knows maybe I will become a pool player.

The evening ended with a guest speaker. Some of what he said I'd heard or read before. Something that caught me up in thought was his referral to his "other side of me" instead of saying "wife". He said "wife" isn't enough to explain what a relationship is all about. She was his other side. As ya'll know I hate Jerry McGuire "you complete me" kind of language about relationships, so I began to wonder why this felt different. Not my "other half" but my "other side". Who are the other sides of our life? I've observed I may behave differently with people based on the kind of relationship I have with them, from formal, professional to casual and yes even romantic. So how does being with your "other side" look like? Respectful, honorable, passionate, comfortable, strangely familiar... I'm still brewing this tea of thought tonight like a good herbal - best to let it steep.

Windblown Mysteries on the Rez

2009-01-23T21:14:00.000-08:00

January 19, 2009 The beginning of a two-week immersion in Pine Ridge, SD.

My day began at 5am, loading a 15 passenger van and setting off for Pine Ridge, SD. It was a quiet trip in a van of strangers. As we drove across the prairie the wind became stronger and stronger creating a physical effort to keep the van on the road. In Mitchel, SD I switched drivers and let my arms have a rest. As we drove I read articles about Pine Ridge and wondered where this little adventure would take us. I also began to pray as each gust swept us across the freeway that we would survive to see the mystery unfold.

Have you ever taken a journey without a plan, itinerary, or any expectation? It's a rare gift to give yourself. I plan to practice being present, listening, and allowing mystery to lead me on. Tomorrow our nation will observe a historic event. I may not be around technology to observe the inauguration live, but I can always go online later. I listened to MLK's "I Have A Dream" speech as I drove out to the rez and wondered about the mystery unfolding in the world's journey of life. So many people traveled east while I traveled west, each to engage an American story unfolding, dreaming, and dying. The path of dismantling racism is far from over, the journey of forgiveness is fraught with the blows of hard winds. Yet, we carry on. And that is a mystery I am thankful for.

It's the end of the world...

2008-08-04T21:51:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had the opportunity to spend some quality time carpooling an 11-year-old boy to camp. He was a talker. I learned a great deal about the latest video games and various tips on tactics. Occasionally I would hear him hum or sing the REM song "It's the end of the world as we know it."

After about an hour and half of driving he asked, "So what do you think will become of the world?" Honestly, I didn't know what to say so I asked him the question back. "I don't know. What do you think?"

He said he thought it was going to come to an end soon. I shared that I thought there was a little more hope for life to which he responded, "Yes I supposed single-cell organisms might have a chance."

I tried not to laugh, but I giggled inside.

Outside storm clouds formed all around us. It looked ugly. Yet no matter where we drove the rain and storm never came. The boy shared how it reminded him of a time he was hiking and all the hills were covered in rain and storms except one - a little hill with a single silver maple tree. He said he thought it must be a sign, but he wasn't sure what it meant. He said, "Maybe it meant that even when life is looking dreary and stormy there is still a chance for hope."

Amen, brother.

I truly believe God has a very creative, somewhat silly sense of humor. Out of a crazy set of circumstances I ended up enjoying a little food for the soul from the backseat of my car on a crazy afternoon drive. I don't know what will become of our world and all the chaos we've evoked. But I agree with my 11-year-old guru, there is still a chance for hope.

It's the end of the world as we know it...and I feel fine. :)

Summer Vacation

2008-07-10T10:52:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been super busy with work and happy to catch up on movies or TV reruns when I have gotten home. I haven't wanted to get "too serious" while the sun was shining and the days had finally warmed up.

Yet life won't take a vacation. I have family and friends dealing with health concerns, money runs short each month, and questions loom overhead about the future.

I once heard a comparison between life and a guitar. The strings of a guitar need a balanced tension to play in tune. Strung too tight they'll break, strung too loose they won't play. Kept tense, yet in-tune, the musician can play a beautiful song. I strive to stay in tune so the Great Musician can play a beautiful song with my life, or at least have fun rocking out. I've decided to be thankful for the tensions in my life, yet I'm not taking it too seriously.

Rock on my friends.

Jesus Take the Wheel

2008-06-04T17:47:00.000-07:00

Check out this song, fellow worriers.

Worry Not

2008-06-04T17:37:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been hit with a case of worries. In the Bible, Matthew 6:24-34, Jesus says, "Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span?"
I know that 97% of the things we worry about never happen. I know that one can only do what they can and the rest is out of our control. But I want to be in control and stop the stuff that worries me from messing up my life. Awe what a fool I am.
Life is messy. Things happen, plans change, the unexpected decimates all our expectations and we are lost. We disappoint ourselves and make mistakes we don't understand. We can be so wrong when we think we are so right. We have ideals that are disregarded and abandoned by those we trusted. People, things, institutions we always thought would hold strong and carry us through crumble, die, or change into something we don't recognize. It's true we've got plenty to worry about and the command "Don't worry" sounds perplexing. Yet the command isn't about guilting us for worrying or being concerned about the future. It is a reminder to consider where and what we place our focus upon and set as priorities.

If you are finding the connection with God, trusting God, is a bit leary right now, try keeping things simple. Maybe a prayer like this:
Jesus, I'm hurting, Nothing is working the way I expected. I don't know who or what to trust anymore. I'm not even sure about you. But I hear you're sure about me. I open my heart to the change you promise. I'm taking my hands off the wheel now. Amen

Mal's Song

2008-05-24T21:58:00.000-07:00

Here it is - my favorite version of the Firefly song: Click here for Michelle Dockery's lyrics

Episode 14 - Objects in Space

2008-05-24T21:37:00.000-07:00

This is the last episode produced. It features River. A bounty hunter finds her and boards Serenity to take her back. The episode begins with River being able to hear the thoughts of the crew and learning how unwanted she is. She finds a gun she thinks is a branch and everyone fears her insanity may make her a great danger. She feels she doesn't belong and surrenders to the bounty hunter, but not without playing some mind-games. In the end the crew invites her into the family.

River wants to belong. Don't we all? Don't we long to have that place, that serenity? It's not easy and it's messy, but families, relationships, communities are part of being human and the journey we call life. When you do find the folks who love you as you are - value them.

Episode 13 - Heart of Gold

2008-05-24T21:17:00.000-07:00

This is a real wild west show with a bad guy who runs the town and a "hoar house" that's fighting to keep it's freedom. An old friend of Inara's asks for her help. Inara ask Mal and the crew go to fight for independence. At the end of this episode, Inara announces she is leaving.

Inara makes the decision to leave because she realizes she loves Mal and she loves the crew of Serenity. She has formed an attachment and that by getting so close she will not have her freedom to come and go and keep things "clean." Love, relationships, people are messy. You can hurt and fear losing the things you love and that feeling can tear you apart. Running away doesn't make it better. We were not created to be without the mess. Sorry to say, that attraction to belonging and being a part of a "family" of relationships is purely human. Inara leaves, but in the movie Serenity she finds that distance and separation cannot break the tie of feelings and love she feels. Lesson learned.

Episode 12 - The Message

2008-05-24T20:56:00.000-07:00

This is my favorite episode and it was the last to be televised. A body of a war buddy is sent to Mal and Zoe with a message for them to bury him on his home planet. Turns out their friend isn't dead, but an organ mule who backed out on a deal with some very angry men. Their friend places everyone in a great deal of danger and turns out to be far more selfish than they had remembered. The episode closes with their buddy's funeral after all and it is the last show to be aired. The crew knew in this episode that this was the end of Firefly and you can see it in their faces that everyone is grieving.

Lately I've felt grief over what has been and what will never be. I've said goodbye to old dreams and begun embracing new ones. I find strength from my faith and the Wisdom writings of Ecclesiastes 3 in the Bible. It says there is an appointed time for everything and a time for every affair under the heavens. A time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to uproot the plant. A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to tear down, and time to build. A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. A time to scatter stones, and time to gather them; a time to embrace, and time to be far from embraces. A time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep and a time to cast away. A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to be silent, and a time to speak. A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
There is not a right time for anything, but time for everything. When you can run anymore, you crawl, and when you can't crawl, you find someone to carry. Who or what is carrying you through?

Episode 11 - Trash

2008-05-24T20:33:00.000-07:00

Saffron is back. She has a scheme to steal a rare antique weapon from a wealthy landowner. Unfortunately for Mal, she neglects to mention just how she came across the information needed to break into the landowner's home. This episode invites more action from Inara.

This episode begins with the end. The cameras zoom in on a desert scene where Mal is sitting on a rock naked and defeated. Sometimes that's the best place to start. Go ahead and clean out the trash in your life and start naked in the desert. Of course, he's not there long. The crew comes and picks him up. When they do he talks and walks around like there is nothing unusual about being naked in front of his crew as they try to carry on without laughing.

Here's what I'm thinking when I see that scene: In life we accumulate baggage, trash, the stuff from our past that goes with us. Then something happens and we feel stripped of all our security blankets and identity - we're vulnerable. We can be ashamed of that, try to get our trash back or carry on with our vulnerability in the community that welcomes us just as we are. I'm thankful for a few friends who've been there when I'm naked in the desert, realizing I made a mistake and trusted the wrong person, put hope in the wrong relationship and they've kept the "I told you so's" to themselves. I sure am thankful.

Episode 10 - War Stories

2008-05-24T20:12:00.000-07:00

Wash is jealous of Zoe's relationship with Mal. He insists on going with Mal to make a deal and they are kidnapped by Niska's men. Niska tortures them. Zoe goes into save them and must choose one. She chooses her husband, Wash. The crew does all they can to save Mal.

Love is not Jealous. Jealousy in relationships pops up when one partner is insecure about the love of the other. There is doubt and uncertainty which wheedles its way into one's psyche and the troubling effects of jealousy spin out of control. Decisions are made, words are said not in love but in fear. There is a fear of losing and of being left can cause a desperate man or woman to manipulate, control, threaten, and even abuse the one they "love" to keep them. I hate jealousy and all the pain it causes. In the Bible there is a passage, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 that is heard at many weddings. It says:
Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, love is not pompous, does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

Love is not fear. Love is greater than our fear and worries. If that is not your experience, then it is not love.

Amazing Grace - Shepherd Book

2008-05-10T23:50:00.000-07:00

Lord, I'm walking your way. Let me in, for my feet are sore, my clothes are ragged.
Look in my eyes, Lord, and my sins will play out on them as on a screen. Read them all.
Forgive what you can and send me on my path. I will walk on until you bid me rest.
~Haven Prayer

Episode 9 - Ariel

2008-05-10T23:27:00.000-07:00

Hard up for cash, Serenity takes on a job from Simon: break into an Alliance hospital on central world Ariel so that he can get a thorough diagnostic of River and the crew can loot the valuable stores of medicine. But River's pursuers are hot on their trail, and they receive some unexpected inside help. (Wikipedia)

Jayne betrays the crew for money and has to live with the guilt of that decision. Mal tells Jayne that when he betrayed River and Simon he betrayed Mal. Mal is ready to leave him for dead, when Jayne asks that he not tell the rest of the crew what he's done. Mal shows mercy. There is a theme of sin and repentance in this episode, as well as the presence of temptation and evil. In the midst of this is the community, the crew. If you hurt one of the crew you hurt all. Made me think of how in communion we repent and receive forgiveness as a community - we commune. Jayne isn't forgiven, but he at least has the beginnings of a repentant heart.

Episode 8 - Out of Gas

2008-05-10T23:11:00.000-07:00

In this episode, Serenity is dying. An explosion damages part of the engine that maintains life support. The crew has hours to live if they stay aboard. Mal sends everyone away as he waits for a response to the distress signal and goes down with the ship. Flashbacks tell us the story of how Serenity came to be and how the crew started.
At one point Kaylee tells Mal that "sometimes something broke can't be fixed." I've been thinking a lot about brokenness. It's a term we throw around freely - broken relationships, broken world, broken heart, etc. I asked some youth what we do when things are broke. Some said fix it and some said throw it away. I guess both are right. I won't throw a broken heart away, yet I've thrown some broken relationships away. Serenity is broke, but Mal won't throw her away. He has faith to the end that an answer will come...and it does.

More Jaynestown

2008-05-10T23:00:00.000-07:00

This is one of my favorite episodes. Jayne is named a hero by mudworkers after he drops a load of cash he stole over their township during a mishandled robbery years before. At the end of the episode a mudworker gives his life for Jayne's life. Jayne is left wondering why someone would do that. He was no hero or god. Mal explains that it was not Jayne but the ideal he stood for that people die for. What would I die for? Do we have any heroes? I know I've made sacrifices for my beliefs and know they were the right choices to make, even though one might say the sacrifices weren't worth it. I guess in the end it's the faith that saves us, not the object, person, or organization that we put it in.

Episode 7 - Jaynestown

2008-05-10T22:58:00.000-07:00

River's opinion of the Bible

The Bible is about believing in something. It's about Faith. You don't fix faith, it fixes you.
That's what Shepherd Book tells River as she tries to "fix the Bible." I guess that says it all.

Episode 6 - Our Mrs. Reynolds

2008-05-03T15:57:00.000-07:00

Summary from Wikipedia:
As an unexpected reward for an unpaid job, Mal finds himself married to a naïve, subservient young woman named Saffron. Saffron is all too willing to play the role of housewife, which leads to argument between Wash and Zoe and lectures from Shepherd Book. But the young woman is not what she appears to be.

A Quote from the end of the episode when Mal finds Saffron who took the shuttle after setting Firefly up to be caught in an electromagnetic net:

Saffron: How'd you find me?

Mal: Only a couple places that shuttle would make it to from where you left… happy to find it intact.

Saffron: You're quite a man, Malcolm Reynolds. [Seductively] I've been waiting a long time for someone good enough to take me down.

Mal: Saffron, you even think about playing me again I will riddle you with holes.

Saffron: Everybody plays each other. That's all anybody ever does. We play parts.

Authenticity in a relationship is what all the books and surveys I read say our post-modern generation is looking for. My church throws around words like "be Real" be Relative" like juggling geese. Yet what does it mean to institutionalize authenticity? In the end is the church just "playing its part" like everybody does (according to Saffron)? You know I don't talk to many folks who become part of a faith community because of the "relative and real preaching" or "contemporary music". Yes those things may be attractions, but they don't keep people coming or build a relationship. It's the people who are authentic about being there and being with each other. The person who lights candles to welcome the presence of God in this space and shares a story about how this weeks been tough and their just thankful to be here. It's letting our guard down enough to stop playing "holy" and admit that a saint is just a sinner who falls down and gets back up. No parts to play, no recipe of worship to follow, just livin' and lovin'. There will always be a Saffron who doesn't get that or believe that. But there's always a Mal who knows a different tale. Who do you believe?

Episode 5: Safe

2008-05-02T23:43:00.000-07:00

This episode opens with a flashback to 10 years earlier in the Tam household when River and Simon were kids. The crew arrives to a backwater colony to unload cattle they had been transporting. A gunfight begins and Shepherd is mortally wounded. Mal makes the decision to leave with Shepherd and leave Simon and River, who had been kidnapped, behind. The Tams are taken to a backwoods settlement to be their doctor, but River's odd ways get her in trouble. In this episode we learn that Shepherd has a secrets deeper than we think, for a check on his ID card got immediate attention and he was treated with top medical care by the Alliance. When Mal asks about his connection with the Alliance, Shepherd dodges his question.When on the ship again he says, "It's good to be back home."
The crew swoop in to save Simon and River from being burned as a witch just in time. When Simon asks Mal why he came back for them, Mal said "because you're part of my crew." The episode ends with a meal together. All the characters are now home.

Going home, being part of a family, belonging, communion (?) are themes in this episode. What does it mean to feel safe? Funny how we call the worship center of a church the "sanctuary." It's meant to be a safe place, a place to commune with your brothers and sisters in Christ. May we care for those who are broken and never leave behind those who are lost.

Episode 4 - Shindig

2008-04-25T17:51:00.000-07:00

View episode here.

Inara attends a formal society dance, only to find Malcolm there as well, attempting to set up a smuggling job. Mal comes to blows with Inara's conceited date and finds himself facing a duel with a renowned swordsman, and only one night to learn how to fence. (wikipedia.com)

Mercy is the mark of a great man.
This Episode seems to deal with what makes on great. Jayne wears a t-shirt that is seen in "The Train Job", "Ariel", and "War Stories" that contains the Chinese word yong which means "soldier" or more commonly "brave".

We see all examples of what is thought to bring greatness: money, fancy clothes, ownership, fighting. Yet, in the end it is Mal in his down-home humor who sums it up best - Mercy.

In Christian Theology we talk about Grace. The difference between Mercy and Grace is:

Mercy--not getting what you do deserve / withheld punishment
Grace--getting what you don't deserve / unmerited favor

The sign of a great person is an ability to give mercy. But there is a God who gives grace. Sometimes I can't even get my mind around that. I don't deserve it and I didn't do anything to earn it and I didn't ask for it, yet I got it. I am given grace - no questions asked. Guess that's the difference between God and (hu)man, huh?

Episode 3: Bushwhacked

2008-04-20T17:49:00.000-07:00

Click to watch episode

Recap from Wikipedia

Bushwhacked

A dead guy on the windshield interrupts a little game of calvinball. The crew boards a derelict ship from whence the dead guy came, looking for salvage first and survivors second, only to discover that the crew of the derelict was killed by Reavers. Just when they think a ship full of crazed cannibals intent on chewing their innards out is the worst thing that could happen, up pulls an Alliance Cruiser.

No problem, right? There's just that small matter of a couple of Alliance fugitives on-board, not to mention the cargo they just lifted off the derelict without a salvage license, and the sole survivor of the attack they've got sedated in the Med Bay...

SCENE: Discussion after recovering the "survivor" of a reaver attack
Jayne: Reavers ain't men.
Book: Of course they are. Too long removed from civilization, of course, but men. And, I believe there is a power greater than men, a power that heals.
Mal: Reavers might take issue with that philosophy. If they had a philosophy. If they weren't too busy gnawing on your insides. Jayne's right, Reavers ain't men. Or they forgot how to be. Now they're just nothing. They got out to the edge of the galaxy, to the edge of the galaxy, to that place of nothing, and that's what they became.

A Reaver, according to the Urban Dictionary, is

1. One who reaves. Archaic term for one who despoils, plunders, bereaves, takes with violence.
2. Terrifying, cannibalistic, self-mutalating savages living in the outskirts of the settled universe in Joss Whedon's Firefly and Serenity.

Do monsters have souls? Think of individuals who have done horrid acts of crime, genocide, and violence. It is difficult to find the goodness and mercy in such stories. Like Mal and Jayne, I think we are more likely to say they are simply "not human." Yet Shepherd believes in a power greater than these horrors, greater than the blackness of such lost beings. He believes in a power that heals; a light that fills the darkness. I've referred to that sharing of light in other Sci-fi references as well. Consider I Am Legend and the "Bob Marley scene" in which he tells the story of Marley's belief one could end racism and bring peace by injecting music and love - "Light up the Darkness". In this case it is heal the mutilated spirit. God is such a mystery. How shall he empower you and me to be such healers in this world? All we can do is, like Shepherd, have faith and be open to receive the direction we are given. There is more to come in the story of Reavers...by the way, they are human. But that's to be learned in time.

Episode 2: The Train Job

2008-04-19T20:43:00.000-07:00

RECAP:
This episode begins with Mal, Zoe and Jayne relaxing over a few drinks at a bar. A man stands and makes a toast to the Alliance to celebrate Unification Day. This causes a bar brawl that apparently, Mal does this every year on Unification Day.

River is having nightmares about medical experiments and she won't tell Simon about them so that he can figure out how to treat her or what to do.

The crew get a job from a man named Niska, who is a ruthless, Russian mafia type. They steal unnamed Alliance cargo from a train. Mal and Zoe are trapped and so they are trying to keep from being discovered with all the passengers who are being detained for investigation. They find out the cargo was needed medical supplies. The crew finds a way to rescue Mal and Zoe, who back out of their deal with Niska and return the supplies because it's the right thing to do.

After Serenity is back on the move, Simon patches up Mal's injuries in the infirmary. Mal inquires as to how River is doing. Simon confirms that she's the same and he still doesn't know what was done to her.

Somewhere on an Alliance ship, a pair of ominous men in suits and blue gloves have arrived, inquiring about a theft. They have a picture of River.

In the beginning of this episode, Mal and Shepherd engage in conversation.

Mal: Well, what about you, Shepherd? How come you're flyin' with us brigands? I mean, shouldn't you be off bringing religiosity to the fuzzy-wuzzies or some such?

Book: Oh, I got heathens aplenty right here.

Mal: If I'm your mission, Shepherd, best give it up. You're welcome on my boat - God ain't.

Later Shepherd and Inara talk about prayer and praying for Mal. Shepherd says he doesn't think Mal would appreciate that. Inara says "Don't tell him. I never do."

Do you pray for people who won't appreciate it? I have plenty of friends who say "I like you and respect you're "churchy" and all, but don't go bringing God to me. It's fine that you need religion. It's what helps you. Some people need things like that. I just don't."

I wonder. Whenever someone says that I feel like I just got stabbed or put down -i.e. weak people need God and I'm not weak like you. Is that it? Is God just a crutch for the weak?

Well truth is: We're all weak. We may have the greatest intelligence, money, power, fame, beauty, humor, etc. yet everyone has a weakness, an insecurity, a dark side.

1 Corinthians 1:26-29
Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things-- and the things that are not-- to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.

Mal may not want his friends praying for him, he lost his faith on the fields of Serenity Valley. But his friends know there is a power greater than his weakness and faith is bigger than his disbelief. But they're not going to tell him.

Serenity Episode 1

2008-04-19T15:14:00.000-07:00

www.fanpop.com has Firefly episodes available if you want to follow along.

Serenity

Se*ren"i*ty\, n. [L. serenuas: cf. F. s['e]r['e]nit['e].]
1. The quality or state of being serene; clearness and calmness; quietness; stillness; peace. A general peace and serenity newly succeeded a general trouble. --Sir W. Temple.

2. Calmness of mind; eveness of temper; undisturbed state; coolness; composure. I can not see how any men should ever transgress those moral rules with confidence and serenity. --Locke.

Note: Serenity is given as a title to the members of certain princely families in Europe; as, Your Serenity. Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, © 1996, 1998 MICRA, Inc.

serenity - the pilot episode of Firefly is anything but.

The opening is set in the Battle of Serenity Valley, where a bloody battle against the Alliance is fought in the Unification War, and after losing most of his soilders and witnessing the destruction of the Valley, Mal and Zoe are forced to surrender. Then we jumped to six years later where they are eking out an existence on the edges of space in a Firefly-class spaceship, taking odd jobs that often involve petty crime. The crew is scavenging an Alliance cargo from a destroyed satellite base and have been spotted by an Alliance ship. They take one passengers in Persephone to supplement their income and seek a buyer for their hot goods. The passenger, Simon, has a secret that will make their lives very complicated.

A deleted scene explains the Serenity story:
A scene where Simon is taking care of the wounded Kaylee. Book asks why Simon chose to come aboard Serenity and he replies that it seemed disreputable. Book suggests that Simon lacks a knowledge of history. Simon researches the Battle of Serenity Valley on his encyclopedia and Zoe tells him about how many soldiers died during the battle and its aftermath. She tells Simon that Mal won't kill him unless he's got no other option. When Simon asks why Mal named the ship after such a horrible battle, Zoe replies that "once you've been in Serenity, you never leave".

For Joss Whedon, every episode is about creating family. Serenity, the spaceship, is their home. It is the safeplace. He uses meals around the supper table to incorporate the family feeling. Serenity is home, it is family, it is a place to be after or in the midst of chaos. Serenity is the holy space.

Recently I attended worship during Holy Week. During a moment of liturgy and prayer I felt a holiness of that moment. A moment that was sanctuary. A moment that God was not ordinary but holy, life was sacred, and being was of an essence. I wish I could say I had moments like that every time I went to church, but I don't. When I do, I am blessed. Serenity - that place to belong, be still, and be one in God? Yes I think so...in God.

Killer Angels in Space

2008-04-19T14:36:00.000-07:00

When Joss Whedon developed Firefly he was influenced by the book, The Killer Angels, a novel by Michael Sharra about the Battle of Gettysburg during the American Civil War.

Whedon wanted to follow the people who fought on the losing side and their experience afterward as pioneers and immigrants on the outskirts of civilization like the post-Civil War era of Reconstruction and the American Old West. He uses music from the campfire days of fiddle playing and slide guitar and often mixes images of the old west with space battles.

The Alliance is a culture formed of the mixing of the two greatest world power - United States and China - in the year 2517. This has caused a fusion of culture that is visually apparent. Humans have arrived at a new star system and it is a time of pioneer culture with fringe living in distant star systems. The crew of Serenity are pirates, making a living the best they can. According to Whedon's vision "nothing will change in the future: technology will advance, but we will still have the same political, moral, and ethical problems of today.

So here we are still fighting, still prejudice, still facing spiritual and ethical dilemmas in the face of opposition and challenge. Each character has their way of dealing with things. Shepherd often quotes the Bible and looks to prayer, yet he struggles to define his place as a Shepherd with such a motley crew. I could relate to that character in my own life. Often I'm the only "churchy" one among my friends and social groups. Sometimes people turn to me with questions of spirituality. Sometimes I am surprised to find the depth of thought those I'd least expect had given spiritual matters. Sometimes I am shunned and shut up before I even enter a room because it is assumed that I will be judgmental and discouraging. Each character has a secret, dark side and each has unexpected brilliance to share. It is a human story.

Firefly TV series

2008-04-19T13:56:00.000-07:00

[opening narration for episodes: Safe, Ariel, War Stories, Heart of Gold]

Mal: Here's how it is: The Earth got used up, so we moved out and terraformed a whole new galaxy of Earths. Some rich and flush with the new technologies, some not so much. The Central Planets, thems formed the Alliance, waged war to bring everyone under their rule; a few idiots tried to fight it, among them myself. I'm Malcolm Reynolds, captain of Serenity. She's a transport ship; Firefly class. Got a good crew: fighters, pilot, mechanic. We even picked up a preacher for some reason, and a bona fide companion. There's a doctor, too, took his genius sister outta some Alliance camp, so they're keepin' a low profile. You understand. You got a job, we can do it, don't much care what it is.

opening song: Take my love, take my land / Take me where I cannot stand / I don't care, I'm still free / You can't take the sky from me / Take me out to the black / Tell 'em I ain't comin' back / Burn the land and boil the sea / You can't take the sky from me / There's no place I can be / Since I found serenity / But you can't take the sky from me

This is the beginning of an American science fiction TV series created by writer/director Joss Whedon (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel). It's modeled as a traditional Western set in a science fiction backdrop.
The series was debuted on FOX in 2002. It was canceled after only eleven of the fourteen episodes were aired. Although it had a short life, it had a "cult" following that won it an Emmy in 2003 for "Outstanding Special Visual Effects for a Series" and the production of a film title Serenity, which brought some closure for fans. I'm one of those fans and I just bought the DVD collection of the 14 episodes. This will be my series for theological reflection, you may recall I haven't been so great at reflecting on twice a week. So you're in for a whole lotta Firefly folks!

Basically this is the story, as Joss Whedon put it, "of nine people looking into the blackness of space and seeing nine different things." The cast of characters include:

Malcom "Mal" Reynolds - Captain the firefly style ship called Serenity and veteran of the civil war against the Alliance.

Zoe Alleyne Washburne - Second-in-command, loyal wartime friend of the captain, and wife of Wash - a "warrior woman".

Hoban "Wash" Washburne - Pilot and Zoe's husband. He is jealous of her loyalty to Mal and tends to be the comic relief for many episodes.

Inara Serra - is a Companion, which in the 26th century is the equivalent of a courtesan. She rents a shuttle from the ship, is nicknamed "the Ambassador" and gives the ship some legitimacy and social acceptance.

Jayne Cobb - is hired muscle. He acts dumber than he is and asks the questions no one else will and is often more than what you see on the surface.

Kaywinnit Lee "Kaylee" Frye - is the ship's mechanic. She is the soul of the ship, a sweet, genuine loving character who has no formal training in mechanics but intuitively keeps the ship going.

Dr. Simon Tam - is a medical researcher and trauma surgeon, the best of the best who is wanted by the Alliance for breaking out his sister from a government research facility.

River Tam - is a child prodigy who was experimented upon, leaving her in a sort of schizophrenic phase in which she sees and hears things others don't.

Derrial Book - is a Shepherd (equivalent to a priest, minister, or pastor). He has knowledge of things you won't expect a Shepherd who has been living in the monastery for some time to know, like hand-to-hand combat, weapons, criminal activites, and electromagnetic field. He is torn as to whether he is called to be with this worldly crew or if their influence is destroying him.

Emotional Abuse

2008-04-09T13:42:00.000-07:00

I found this article on emotional abuse to be very powerful. Check it out.

Faith in Tragedy

2008-04-03T21:52:00.000-07:00

Last night I happened to catch the 12:30am edition of Oprah. Her guests were the families behind the mistaken identity case in Indiana. A van of college students and faculty were hit by a semi that had loss control. Five people were killed. One survivor was mistaken for another girl who had died and the two families lived accordingly with this mistake for five weeks. The families have written a book about their experience called Mistaken Identity.

When Oprah asked how these two families could be so forgiving in light of the fact that they had each thought their child had lived or died only to find the opposite was true, the fathers spoke for their families. They said it was their faith that got them through. They believed in Jesus Christ and that death was not the end of the story, that a resurrected Christ gave them hope and strength to endure the trials that come their way. These families have an odd and special connection and a common faith helped them to work through this together.

I am thankful through all the trials I've known that I've had a practice and discipline of prayer and faith to keep me going and hold me up. I knew what these families were talking about. Sadly not everyone does and it all probably sounded unbelievable. But faith is real and prayer is powerful.

Easter Legend

2008-03-26T22:24:00.000-07:00

On Easter Sunday I watched the movie I Am Legend with some of my family. The story has a messianic theme in which one man dedicates his life to finding the cure to a virus that has devastated the entire human population - creating creatures called the "dark seekers." Themes of butterflies and Bob Marley culminate in a message from God in the end with the epitaph of "light up the darkness." The world is quieter now, all you need to do is listen. You can hear God.

This past year I've watched a few movies with the similar virus causing cannibalistic hunger
theme including 28 Days Later and the three Resident Evil. The novel "I am Legend" was made into two previous movies: The Last Man on Earth in 1964 and The Omega Man in 1971. This post-apocalyptic fiction proposes a vampire/zombie existence caused by a virus. The protagonist, Robert Neville, comes to the conclusion at the end of the book that he is the extinct form of humanity and must surrender his life so that the new society of vampire existence may become what it must. The 2007 movie has a more optimistic ending with a possible cure in sight. Apocalyptic novels have existed since the days of Shelley in the 19th century but grew in popularity around World War II. I've always been a fan of these doomsday novels and films. The possiblity of what could happen...unless, has a prophetic nature to it. Whether it is atomic or viral warfare, ecological destruction, or political fascism, these movies and novels remind us of our sinful nature. There is a depth to evil that is not going away no matter how pretty we try to keep things.
I'm writing a sermon for this weekend and speaking of God being in our midst. Often in these apocalyptic stories God is just as vacant as the dead world. There is this sense that the survivors have been abandoned by God. Yet somehow, there is hope in the midst of all this tragedy and loss. Many of these stories deal with the question of what "makes us human?" It is the qualities of God that we are the image of that are our distinction, though this may not be named as the "image of God." God is still in our midst...that was a final message of "I am Legend" and Easter turned out to be the perfect day to watch this movie.

Jane Austen and me

2008-03-19T12:21:00.000-07:00

For the past month or so I have been watching movies based on Jane Austen's 6 books or watching movies about Jane Austen or the fans of Jane Austen. It started with a curious independent film called "The Jane Austen Book Club" then I saw "Becoming Jane"a movie about young Jane Austen's life. A friend loaned me "Pride and Prejudice" the 1995 mini-series version with Colin Firth is my favorite but there is plenty of debate about its best production. This past weekend I treated myself to "Mansfield Park" the 1999 independent film version.

Jane Austen is a romantic, to say the least. I am studying religious history of the 17th century to present day and am struck by the fact that Austen's stories take place during some tumultuous times in world history and religion, yet her stories generally focus on 3 to 5 families. Austen was the daughter of a clergyman with two brothers who became clergymen. Half of her novels has a hero who is a clergyman. She is Anglican and so are her heroes. I agree with the article in A Journal of Religion about Jane Austen, Public Theologian.

Mansfield Park displays her most theological contribution. She explores the idea of "individualism" - a new concept in the late 1700s. A distinction is made between "vocation"- being who you are called to be and "acting". The characters of Mansfield Park follow a "vocation" or act a vocation. The heroine, Fanny Price, guides us through these characters with wit and amazing discernment.

At the end of the story Edmond finally confesses his love for Fanny "as a man would love a woman" and through the soap opera peek into this little 1806 country nook you feel the resolute happiness of everything being the way it is supposed to be.

Does Jane Austen provide much theological reflection and insight? maybe a little. Mostly it is a treat to escape into another time, another story, and experience as Jane Austen intended "every story has a happy ending." For in the real world of love and romance, family and culture it is rarely so simple and well-mannered.

New Sins

2008-03-13T09:41:00.001-07:00

Did you hear the list of sins the Pope announced on Monday? I just gave a sermon Sunday on our ecological sins. Presently Spirit Garage is planning a Watershed Clean up on April 19 at Loring Park. We've spent the Lenten Journey looking at eco-stewardship and taking steps to be "less timid" as a Christian community in relationship to the environment. We talk about caring for the poor - Nature is the New Poor.

The Vatican seems to think so as well. Following a week-long training seminar for priests in Rome, the head of the Apostolic Penitentiary Archbishop Gianfranco Girotti has announced that the seven new mortal sins are to be ...

· Environmental pollution;
· Genetic manipulation;
· Accumulating excessive wealth;
· Inflicting poverty;
· Drug trafficking and consumption;
· Morally debatable experiments;
· Violation of fundamental rights of human nature.

"We are losing the notion of sin," said Pope Benedict, in support of the move. "If people do not confess regularly, they risk slowing their spiritual rhythm."

Check out Ethical Living blog "Have you sinned lately?"

Homework Woes

2008-03-06T15:02:00.000-08:00

One of my homework assignments is to watch TV or a series of movies. You would think this would be so easy. Trouble is we're not talking about vegging in front of the tube. Rather it's looking for theological insight within a television series or movie genre. I haven't been home before 9pm in weeks and I'm to cheap to buy dvr right now. So I've been looking into this thing called webisodes. It started by accident. I checked out the new series quarterlife during its short lived premeire. The show has been cancelled by NBC. It seems that its 20-something specific scenario is not connecting with the 30-50 age group and therefore not sustainable. I have to admit I felt too old watching it myself.
Jenny McCarthy has a webisode hit heading into year two called In the Motherhood
Today show interviewed her on March 5. Check out some of these webisodes. Internet Television Series.

A note about quarterlife - from an article on The Star

Another problem: quarterlife's fictional story is not nearly as intriguing as its real-life backstory. There's no question television is running from its past. But, sadly, nobody knows where to find the future.

What is the wave of the future? Technology is a very fast-paced world of fads and changes. It is about trial and error. I work for a church eager to utilize technology in evangelism. What does that look like? Forget TV Evangelists. Is the next wave that of 8 minute Webvangelism? HighSpeed Jesus Connections? Just a thought....

Broken Halleluiah

2008-03-05T19:40:00.000-08:00

I'm having a Leonard Cohen night. I'm listening to Jeff Buckley's interpretation of Halleluiah
This is one of those songs I heard in the car and had to pull over to listen fully. This has been a stressful week of constant action - school-work-meetings-homework-little rest. I preach at Spirit Garage this Sunday on the Lord's Prayer and putting what we've learned about eco-stewardship into action - no small task.

The last two verses always get me in this song:

Well there was a time when you let me know
what's really going on below
but now you never show that to me do you
but remember when I moved in you
and the holy dove was moving too
and every breath we drew was hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah

Well maybe there's a god above
but all I've ever learned from love
was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you
And it's not a cry that you hear at night
it's not somebody who's seen the light
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

We live in a broken world. We are capable of toxic relationships with each other and the earth. To juxtapose brokenness with hallelujah is what pierces my heart. I still sing hallelujah. I cannot not sing hallelujah. Yet there is mourning in this joy, death in living, brokenness in loving.

This song became a hit in the movie Shrek when Rufus Wainright sang it. I still love the Jeff Buckley version but k.d. lang gives it a female voice. Thank you Leonard.

What I've Done

2008-03-03T12:08:00.000-08:00

Linkin Park in their lead single, What I've Done, from the album Minutes to Midnight tells of the ironies of human existence. In their video they highlight the sins against each other and our environment that are committed every day. This is more than a good soundtrack tune from transformers. This song soared in the charts when it came out. They've tapped a pulse somewhere. Check it out:

quarterlife conspiracy

2008-03-03T11:45:00.000-08:00

On the quarterlife official website there is a forum discussing the "conspiracy" of another good show canceled before it starts. Bravo will have a quarterlife marathon on March 9 at 8am. Like one blogger wrote "what 25 year old is up watching tv at 8am?" Whatever happens with this show, it is fascinating to see the community it has developed discussing everything from art to health and activism. Is there something to be said about the future of media as the web becomes as much as source of information and entertainment as tv? hmmm

Cycle of Abuse

2008-02-29T12:30:00.000-08:00

I found this website on the Cycle of Abuse that is easy to understand has some good connections to other informative websites. Thought I'd pass it on.

"X"tra forgiveness

2008-02-28T12:47:00.000-08:00

In A Course in Miracles there is a saying "Love brings up everything unlike itself." Meaning when we make a decision for more love, expansion, empowerment, and healing all the crap we don't want to face comes up to be healed. Last night I gave a sermon on forgiveness based on the Lord's Prayer "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us" (or sins or debts - depending on your tradition). I spoke of exercising daily this prayer and building up your "forgiveness muscle".
Today I get an email from my ex. Haha guess the preacher has to practice what she preaches. I cannot respond to this email due to there being some very good reasons for breaking up - It's Called a Break Up because It's Broken.
Nonetheless I can practice forgiveness and letting go in my heart. Forgiveness is rehab of the heart. It's tough work. It's also a path to peace.

quarterlife - new show on NBC

2008-02-27T09:02:00.000-08:00

Last night I happen across a new show called quarterlife on NBC.
Marshall Herskovitz and Edward Zwick, the creative team behind "My So-Called Life," "thirtysomething," "Legends of the Fall," and "Blood Diamond," first produced this show on Internet. Its an insightful show of relationships during life's key passages, this one being the years between 20 and 30 and important life decisions are made. "quarterlife" is the story of six creative people in their twenties. It reminded my of St Elmo's Fire from the 80s or Reality Bites and Singles from the 90s. (I'm guessing this show will produce just as awesome soundtracks).

It starts with Dylan, a young woman whose overly truthful video blog (on quarterlife.com of course) spills the closest secrets of her friends, the show's characters – filmmakers Danny and Jed, actress-bartender Lisa, geek-extraordinaire Andy, and still-tied-to-her-parents Debra – chart the sometimes excruciating, sometimes comic, often emotional experiences that comprise coming of age in the 21st century.

"quarterlife" initially launched on MyspaceTV.com and on quarterlife.com in November 2007. The Internet series includes 36 eight-minute webisodes, with two new episodes airing each week. The show is also available on other sites such as YouTube, Facebook, and Imeem, as well as NBC.com.

In last night's episode Lisa's acting coach confronts her "lack of sexuality" or "power." Lisa dresses sexy, has a lot of sex, but does not emit a center of power - her sexuality. Where is your power? Rob Bell in his book Sex God: Exploring the endless connections between sexuality and spirituality
proposes that Sex and God are connected. You can't speak of one without the other. Where is your power?

quarterlife.com already has an established social network. The members of the quarterlife community – by their willingness to share their feelings, creative passions, and deepest concerns – are redefining what a social network can be.

Mythic Parables

2008-02-25T19:53:00.000-08:00

In my class tonight we discussed living between myth and parable. Myths allow us to dream and to believe in a future better than the present. Parables won't allow us to live in a dream world. They call us to confront the present and deter us from trusting in any hope that does not face the hard reality of the present. Ironically we need both stories in our lives. We were to reflect on the mythic and parable in our own stories and rituals.
I have a ritual. On Friday nights I like to prepare and buy a favorite meal (usually Thai), pour a glass of red wine, rent a few DVDs, and take a long hot shower after some yoga or pilates or running a few errands after work. I work with people 7 days a week. My job is in service and I serve my employers, my church, my family, my friends the best I can. I'm an extrovert and am very social - a real joiner. My Friday nights have become sacred. A special time set aside for me, to indulge in alone time, to simply be. The mythic ideals of this is that choosing a life alone is better than the challenge of being-for-others all the time. We all need "me" time. The parable is I'm alone. At the end of a long week of socializing and supporting I'm still in solitude at the end of the day and it is my choice. The parable is that in the alone time I must face who I am, the choices and mistakes I've made and nurture my soul not fill it with distraction.

Baby oh Baby

2008-02-22T10:48:00.000-08:00

Have you noticed a trend in films this past year with an "unwanted pregnancy" theme. I'm thinking of Juno, Waitress, August Rush, Knocked Up. Maybe you can think of a few others. There is a famous story that came out last year...Nativity. That tells the story of Mary and Joseph and the birth of Jesus Christ. Yes that is another story of another "surprise" teen pregnancy. I recently watched Turner Classic Movies channel and Love with the Proper Stranger, starring Natalie Wood and Steve McQueen was on. The plot is of Angie Rossini, an Italian Catholic Macy's salesgirl, who discovers she's pregnant from a fling with Rocky, a musician. Angie finds Rocky (who doesn't remember her at first) to tell him she's pregnant and needs a doctor for an abortion. He finds her a doctor and they work together to raise the money. Rocky doesn't let her go through with the abortion and tries to do the "right thing" and marry her. Angie refuses and gets an apartment on her own and lives a "liberated" life. The movie never goes far into the pregnancy and you are left to discern that Rocky and Angie are really in love and live happily ever after. In 1996 a movie called Citizen Ruth took a satirical look at the pro-life/pro-choice politics by utilizing dark comedy in the debate.
The common theme I continue to find in these movies is that of personal transformation, change, birth of a new self, and discovery of true love. These stories are not just about women experiencing a transformation both physically and emotionally but the men in their lives. Some grow apart, some grow closer.
Pregnancy is a symbol of new growth and creativity among the metaphysical literature. Unwanted or surprise pregnancy reflects the resistance we have to change. We live in a time that is pregnant with change, not unlike the 1960s. Something is a-coming. Just look at our presidential race and the monumental change of having such diverse candidates in serious running. Life is getting loud and the suspense is boiling over. What do you think? Where is God in all this pregnant change? We fight over family values, pro-life/pro-choice, but what is beneath the fight? Is it our values and sacred regard for life? And what of this life? I learned long ago to "let go and let God." It's a wild rollercoaster ride, that sometimes has not track, when you do. Are we ready to give birth to a new age, a new society, a new experience? Change is coming. I have an assignment for school to examine popular movies for deeper themes. As I review the films in this years Academy Awards line up I see old stories retold in a new way. The changes we are feeling and growing into are simply a part of the human experience. I plan to look at more of these human transformation themes in popular culture - films, TV, music, etc. If you have any suggestions for me to explore - please let me know.

More stuff on stuff

2008-02-19T20:09:00.000-08:00

I found a comedy routine by George Carlin on you tube talking about stuff. Keep in mind he can be a bit offensive, but try to laugh at yourself. I know I am. "I'm ok, I got my stuff, right?"

story of stuff

2008-02-17T13:45:00.000-08:00

Have you seen "Story of Stuff"?
The Story of Stuff http://www.storyofstuff.com will take you on a provocative tour of our consumer-driven culture — from resource extraction to iPod incineration — exposing the real costs of our use-it and lose-it approach to stuff.
Check out this teaser
At Spirit Garage we are taking a lenten journey through the theology of earthkeeping (see Earthkeepers Guide to the Universe). I've been thinking a lot about what it means to be an earth creature - a creation of God. In the Bible it says in Genesis 1:26-28 that we are created in the likeness and image of God with dominion over the creation. "Dominion in the likeness of God's dominion is being-for-others love." I read that in a textbook years ago and it is on my mind. How can we be-for-others in our practices of consumption, our economy, our lives, and our world. I look forward to hearing what you think about the story of stuff. Be earth keepers who care for and protect the only home we share with all life.